Showing posts with label Joke. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Joke. Show all posts

Monday, April 25, 2011

Furore over royal wedding guest list


Bahraini prince pulls out after global outrage at crackdown on protests / Human rights groups say representatives of despotic regimes should be barred
By Jonathan Brown

Prince Charles and the Foreign Office found themselves at the centre of a human rights row over the guest list for Friday's royal wedding, with protests planned outside Westminster Abbey and five-star hotels because of invitations to foreign despots and figureheads from autocratic regimes.
The Crown Prince of Bahrain was last night forced to pull out of attending the wedding, hours before he had been due to fly in to London, amid anger over his role in the Gulf state's brutal crackdown on pro-democracy demonstrators.
Human rights activists had pledged to disrupt Prince Salman bin Hamad al-Khalifa's stay in Britain with a series of protests, insisting that he is the chief architect of the Saudi-backed security forces' violent response to the demonstrators, which has left up to 31 people dead.
More than 500 opponents of the regime have been arrested since protests began in February, while there has been mounting international outrage at the regime's targeting of medical staff willing to treat those injured in clashes with Baharani police.
The Bahraini prince wrote to the Prince of Wales yesterday apologising for withdrawing, which he described as a matter of "deep regret". He said he had left the decision "for as long as possible in the sincere hope that ongoing events – resulting from recent unrest in the Kingdom of Bahrain – might have improved, leaving me able to join the celebrations without being overshadowed by issues in Bahrain."
The prince was due to attend the service at the special invitation of the Queen, sitting alongside overseas monarchy, diplomats and Commonwealth heads of state at the front of Westminster Abbey.
Protests are still expected to go ahead despite his absence because of the presence of Saudi Arabia's Prince Mohamed bin Nawaf bin Abdulaziz, Zimbabwe's ambassador to the UK, and the King of Swaziland over human rights abuses in their countries.
St James's Palace said that all diplomatic invitations had been agreed by the Foreign Office. A Palace spokesman said there were now no plans for anyone to represent the people of Bahrain. The Foreign Office declined to comment. All sides insisted that the decision was a "private matter" and that no diplomatic pressure had been brought to bear.
Nabeel Rajab, president of the Bahrain Centre for Human Rights, said he believed Britain, which is one of the country's leading trading partners, had asked the Bahraini prince to stay away to prevent further embarrassment.
Bahrainis living in the UK plan to stage demonstrations close to Westminster Abbey at the decision to invite Prince Salman, who has been commander-in-chief of the country's defence force since 1999.
"We are still very upset because the invitation is still valid. He rejected it," he said. "We would like to see the British government fully condemn what is going on – not invite people to a wedding who have blood on their hands.
"Doctors and people are in jail at this moment. Hospitals are under attack... Human rights activists are being killed and tortured to death and thousands of people are in jail."
The human rights situation in the country has deteriorated dramatically in the last month. This weekend opposition leaders said the authorities have demolished 16 mosques as punishment for protests by the Shia majority against their Sunni rulers.
In a report last week, Amnesty International accused the Bahraini government of using "excessive force" since launching an "orchestrated crackdown" against protesters on 16 March. It said security forces were using shotguns, rubber bullets, tear gas and live ammunition.
Four people are believed to have died in custody while the whereabouts of hundreds of detainees is still not known. Among those held are doctors and nurses from the Salmaniya Medical Complex, Bahrain's main hospital.
An Amnesty spokesman called on the British government to use any opportunity to urge Bahrain to halt its crackdown on freedom of expression and demanded it put an end to double standards after vigorously supporting opponents of the existing regimes in Libya and Syria.
In his letter to Prince Charles, Prince Salman said the British media had "fundamentally misrepresented my own position on recent events and sought to involve my attendance as a proxy for wider matters involving Bahrain".

Friday, June 08, 2007

Baptizing A Drunk! (JOKE)

A man is stumbling through the woods totally drunk when he comes upon a preacher baptizing people in the river.

The drunk walks into the water and subsequently bumps into the preacher. The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of booze. Whereupon he asks the drunk, "Are you ready to find Jesus?"

"Yes I am" replies the drunk, so the preacher grabs him and dunks him in the river. He pulls him up and asks the drunk, "Brother have you found Jesus?"

The drunk replies, "No, I haven't." The preacher, shocked at the answer, dunks him into the water again, but for a bit longer this time. He pulls him out of the water and asks again, "Have you found Jesus, my brother?"

The drunk again answers, "No, I have not found Jesus."
By this time the preacher is at his wits end so he dunks the drunk in the water again, but this time he holds him down for about 30 seconds.

When the drunk begins kicking his arms and legs, the preacher pulls him up. The preacher asks the drunk again, "For the love of God, have you found Jesus?"

The drunk wipes his eyes and catches his breath and says to the preacher ...

"Are you sure this is where he fell in?"

Monday, May 28, 2007

Men are like

Nowadays, 80% of women are against marriage, WHY? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage.

1. Men are like . .... Laxatives . ..... They irritate the crap out of you.

2. Men are like. Bananas ....... The older they get, the less firm they are.

3. Men are like ...... Weather . Nothing can be done to change them.

4. Men are like . Blenders You need One, but you're not quite sure why.

5. Men are like ..... Chocolate Bars .... Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.

6. Men are like .... Commercials ....... You can't believe a word they say.

7. Men are like Department Stores ..... Their clothes are always 1/2 off.

8. Men are like ..... . Government Bonds .... They take soooooooo long to mature.

9. Men are like .... . Mascara . They usually run at the first sign of emotion.

10. Men are like ... Popcorn ..... They satisfy you, but only for a little while.

11. Men are like Snowstorms .... You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.

12. Men are like ........... Lava Lamps .... Fun to look at, but not very bright.

13. Men are like Parking Spots .......... All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped

Sunday, April 29, 2007

The last call (humor)

A man dashes into the Pope's office, panting, gasping, and trying to speak all at once.

"What's the matter?" the Pope asks, offering the man a seat.

"Oh your Grace!" the man exclaims, flopping on the chair.
"I have good news and I have bad news. Which would you like to hear first?"

"Give me the good news," the Pope says.

"Oh your Grace! JESUS is on the phone and he wants to speak to you!" the panting man exclaims.

"Praise the Lord!" the jublilant Pope replies,
"What could the bad news "possibly be?"

"Your Grace, he's calling form Mecca!"

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Heart Transplant (Joke)

A man who was having heart trouble went to the doctor to see what his options were. Naturally, the doctor recommended a heart transplant. The man reluctantly agreed, and asked if there were any hearts immediately available, considering that money was no object.

"I do have three hearts," said the doctor. "The first is from an 18-year old kid, non-smoker, athletic, swimmer, with a great diet. He hit his head on the swimming pool and died. It's $100,000.

The second is from a marathon runner, 24 years old, great condition, very strong. He got hit by a bus. It's $150,000.

The third is from a heavy drinker, cigar smoker, and a steak lover. It's $500,000."

"Hey, why is that heart so expensive? He lived a terrible life!"

"Yeah, but it's from a Wahabi and never been used."