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Sunday, July 31, 2005

So What About the Family?

By Yahiya Emerick

Allah says, "Your Lord has ordered that you serve no one except Him, and that you be good to your parents. If one or both of your parents become old, never say disrespectful things to them. Instead talk to them with noble words. And out of kindness lower your wing to them humbly and say, 'My Lord, give them Mercy even like they cared for me when I was a child.'" (17:23-24)
My brothers and sisters, Allah in this Ayah gives us directions on how to treat our parents, especially if they become old and need us. Allah tells us that we must speak kindly to them and ask for Mercy for them. He even shows us an important lesson in the words He gives us for prayer. The prayer says, "My Lord, give them Mercy even like they cared for me when I was a child."
The way Islam sees a family is simple: a mother and father living together, taking care of their children. And when the children grow up and the parents are old, then the children should help take care of their old and weak parents. And when the children who grew up have kids of their own. The grandparents help take care of the new little ones. And so it goes on and on and on. New babies come in, the older respected grandparents and great grandparents, start to leave this life and go into the next.
I'm sure a lot of you adults and kids know what I'm talking about the endless cycle of life. And it seems to be still working okay in Muslim countries for the most part. But what happens when you take a Muslim family and put them in a place where people look at parents a little differently? What happens when you raise Muslim kids in the country where parents are not so valuable? And what happens if you come here and you don't practice Islam and you don't teach it to your children?
Let me tell you what I mean, in the United States today, the divorce rate among married people is 50 percent. What that says is that for every 100 couples who get married, 50 will get a divorce within a few years. And what's worse, many of these divorces involve children. And then you have the whole other problem of all the kids born to a mother and father who were never married in the first place. For example, today, 80 out of every 100 black children are born to parents who are not even married. 40 out of every hundred white kids are born this way and 60 out of every 100 Latino kids are born without married parents. Most of these kids will never know their fathers or at best, they'll see one parent one week and another parents the other week.
Why should these kids who grow up feel like their parents are special or deserve respect? After all so many parents aren't even around for their kids so do you think the kids will ever want to be around for them? And what about kids who have a married mom and dad? Do they get any more special feelings for their parents? Look what happens today, you have so many working mothers and fathers that the poor young kids are usually put in day-care centers.
Do you know what a day-care center is? It's a place where a bunch of little kids are put to be watched all day while mother is at work. But according to a recent national survey, most day-care centers (2 out of 3) in this country are not run right, they are not safe, and some kids even make little baby gangs to bully around the other 3,4,5 and six-year-old's. As one writer put it, "In day-care centers, it's the law of the jungle among the children." Big kids push around little ones and the people who work there don't care all that much.
So the average little kid is going to grow up knowing that when his parents were too busy for him, they put him in a place to be watched by strangers. Later on in life, when his parents are old and retired, and he's too busy to take care of them, he's going to put them in an old folks home to be watched by strangers. And he won't see anything wrong with it.
This is the normal way in this country, because parents are just people you need for a few years and then you don't need them anymore nor do you have to care for them, or at least that's what this culture teaches. In fact, this culture finds parents so unimportant that parents can even be insulted and no one has a problem with that. I know from talking with people that in Muslim countries almost no one will insult a persons parents. But here, almost all the Muslim children pick up all the bad habits of the society and the parents don't even realize it.
It seems hardly a week goes by without meeting one kid who says to another, your Mama is this or that so the other kid makes fun of the first kid's mom and then they start shoving and punching. You students, boys mostly, you know what I'm talking about. But our Islam teaches us that it's bad to insult someone's parents. The prophet said, "It is one of the greatest sins that a person should insult his parents." Then someone asked, "Messenger of Allah, how could a person insult his own parents?"
The prophet replied, "A person curses the father of another person during an argument and he curses his father back and also curses his mother."
Do you see how that works? When you insult another person's parents, they insult yours back. It's almost as if you made them do it. It's like you asked for your parents to be bad-mouthed. And another bad habit that people seem to have all over the world is to be too generous to their children. The parents will give their kids money, all the toys and clothes they want; the parents will drive around the fanciest sports cars and eat in the finest restaurants. All this goes to make the kid a whiny, spoiled brat who always looks for shiny, pretty things.
And because this culture says that money and things are the best goals to have, the kids buy into this idea lock, stock and barrel. They see their parents giving them lots of stuff, so they come to expect and demand lots of goodies. So when the parents are old and weak and can't give things anymore, who needs them?
Like one teenage kid was telling me, if the call for Jihad came out, these parents and kids would do nothing but make excuses. And because all life is a form of Jihad, a struggle, are we raising a generation of people who will only have Muslim names, but not Muslim hearts?
Once a king said to one of his wise ministers, "Show me the people who think they have sweet parents and those who think they have mean parents."
The Minister took the king to a market and pointed to a person who was pushing a hand cart. He told the king that this person thought he had very sweet parents. But because his parents always fulfilled his demands, he did not learn to provide well for himself. After the death of the parents he could not live the same kind of life. Now he was forced to do a tough job in order to meet his needs. The Minister pointed to another well dressed person who was riding on a carriage which was followed by many horse riders. The Minister told the king that this person was successful because his parents had strict rules for him and that he used to think that they were very mean parents because of the rules he hated. But the rules he hated made him a successful person.
This example is true: I know a man, he owns a whole village back in Pakistan, but living here, he has a small house and has made his son pay for everything on his own. His son hates him, but guess what? The son is the hardest, smartest worker I've ever seen. He's only 18 and he's in the honors program at a major university. And my own father was so hard on me, but now I'm glad he was. The best thing that can happen to you is if your parents push you and stay hard on you. The Hadith of the prophet states that even if you slave for your parents your whole life, you still wouldn't be able to pay them back for what they did for you.
It's sad to think that when you're a kid, you don't realize this. My brothers and sisters, if you are a parents, are you raising your child as a non-Muslim, by letting them pick up the non-Muslim culture they see on television or at the mall or wherever?
If you're a kid, are you letting yourself get sucked into an attitude that says parents are only important for a few years?
Let me tell you, if you ever start thinking your parents are a pain, that they get in the way, then you lose, because when you put your parents in an old folk's home and forget about them, you can be sure that your kids will put you there one-day too and forget about you. Islam means family, and families stick together and you cannot be Muslim if you forget the love and respect of your parents.

Lyndon LaRouche InterviewedOn Radio Radicale, Rome, Italy


Lyndon LaRouche InterviewedOn Radio Radicale, Rome, Italy
U.S. Presidential pre-candidate Lyndon LaRouche was interviewed on a popular Italian radio station, Radio Radicale, on Sept. 20. The interview was broadcast from Rome during morning "drive time," and aired again on Sept. 22.
Radio Radicale is the official radio of the Radical Party and is popular well beyond its party base, since it is the only national radio that broadcasts live Parliament discussions. The interview was conducted by journalist Andrea Billau.

Billau: Radio Radicale. Once more, we deal with last week's terrorist attacks in the United States, and we do it by listening to a "voice out of the chorus," directly from the United States. Our listeners know this figure already, because we interviewed one of his collaborators, Amelia Robinson, who was also collaborator of Martin Luther King, and she told us about him. Today, he is on line with us: He is Lyndon LaRouche, an economist, several-time candidate for the U.S. Presidency. Good morning Dr. LaRouche!

LaRouche: Good day to you.

Billau:: I want to start with an article I have read, in which LaRouche insists that what happened last week in the United States is a genocidal attack carried out by rogue forces, coordinated from within the United States, because no foreign power has the capabilities to do what was done last Tuesday [Sept. 11]. Well, can you explain this statement, an important and serious statement, to us?

LaRouche: What was done could not be done by so-called international terrorist organizations. And technically, it could not have been done by the United States to the Soviet Union in the days of the old Cold War. This was a highly professional, top military operation. And this involves large resources and coordination, which do not exist outside of the United States. It involves elements which were recruited by the United States and other intelligence services of Europe and Israel, back during the days of the so-called Iran-Contra operation.
Looking at this professionally, what we are looking at, is the mode of operation which these acts of this past Tuesday, were the first days of an ongoing, attempted coup d'etat against the government of the United States. The very mode of the attack has two characteristics which will tell you what the issue is.
First of all, it occurs in the midst of the end-phase of the biggest financial collapse of modern history. Secondly, the obvious intention is what is called "geopolitical." The purpose of the attack is to set forth a clash of civilizations, as proposed for example by Zbigniew Brzezinski and Samuel P. Huntington. There is a movement, as you know, in the world, for cooperation in face of the present world financial and related crises, especially on the Eurasian continent. This has been accelerated by concerns over the financial crisis, to find a new way of building our way out of the crisis. Other powerful forces are determined to prevent that from happening. On the surface, in the United States itself we get a lot of propaganda, especially from CNN, Fox News and people like that; but behind the scenes, in the relevant institutions, there is an awareness on the general nature of the crisis as being what I have just described, and serious people are working on that problem.
We hope, however, that we can get that job done before the next attack comes, because there will be an intended next attack. One of the things we are concentrating on is to get an early agreement to a Middle East peace between the Palestinians and Israel, because the danger is setting off a religious war, which then would create an uncontrollable world situation. That essentially sums up, in a small package, my views.

Billau: Therefore, in your view, Mr. LaRouche, Osama bin Laden is not responsible for this terrorist attack?

LaRouche: No. Osama bin Laden is a nuisance which was created by joint efforts of the British, U.S., and Israeli intelligence services, back during the days of the Afghansi War. In the meantime, he has become a nuisance to Russia, to other countries, so that those who are trying to evade the issue, are trying to get a focus on him as the problem. He is a problem, but he is not the problem behind the crisis behind the crisis in the United States today.

Billau: In order to better understand: Are you saying that there was a conspiracy, internal, not only to the United States, but to various Western countries as well? Who are the players in this conspiracy, and what result do they want to achieve?

LaRouche: We do not know who the players are. It is like hunting an animal, by a professional hunter. We do not have the name and the pedigree of the animal, but you have to read the spoor to know what the species is, what the habits are, and you have to read the mind of the animal. If you look at that from that standpoint, it becomes very clear as to what the nature of the identity of the animal behind this problem is. It is a certain mentality among people in Britain, in the United States and elsewhere, especially associated with the financier-speculator community. The crisis motivates them, as it was described in a Council of Foreign Relations study done last year in July: to think in terms of dictatorship as a way of dealing with the world financial collapse. This overlaps a group of people who shares the Brzezinski-Huntington conception of a clash of civilizations, as part of the way to handle this problem.
Now, this does not mean that people who think that are behind this coup. That does mean that those in command of the coup effort share that mentality. These would be people who are fanatics, who are located in the so-called religious right, and similar types of people, of which there is an abundance in the United States. This means former, retired, flag-rank officers who share that ideology. This means using part of the vast special-warfare capabilities which the United States and other countries have developed especially since the 1970s. It means the same kind of mentality that was behind terrorism in Italy, France, Germany, and so forth during the 1960s, '70s and '80s.
And, if you study coup d'etats in history, in modern history especially, what is unthinkable to many people, is the idea that what was done in Chile or other countries could not be done inside the United States. But it is possible in the United States under conditions of crisis. And my concern is that, since many people are afraid to say this, I have to take the leading role in encouraging those who should deal with this crisis, to deal with it appropriately. What concerns me the most in this, is the idiocy of the United States taking the policy of seeking revenge as a military policy, taking revenge upon people who may not be guilty of this operation. It is like a Southern, racist lynch mob, just lynching some guy who is African-American, simply because they want to kill an African-American, and it plays right into global religious war, which is the most dangerous thing that one can imagine.

Billau: Well, what really looks enormous in your hypothesis, you must admit, is that such internal Western forces organize, in order to unleash the clash of civilizations, the death of 20,000we do not know how many, several thousands in any caseof Westerners, of Americans, in particular, with a spirit of, we could say, real kamikazes. Could you give us more elements that would help us to at least imagine such an enormous scenario?

LaRouche: Yes. If you understand the United States as I do: There are plenty of people in the United States, in very high ranking position, who could do that with impunity. Look at certain facts which are well known to people in the Vatican; look at the loss of respect for life; look at the spread of malthusianism as part of this wave of death which has been pushed in the world over the past twenty years; look what has happened with the reform of medical policy, of health care, in the United States; look at the welfare reform of 1996; look at those who propose that the world population must be reduced to a billion or less, quickly; look at a number of people into whose minds such ideas are acceptable; look at the leading U.S. press, and other publications, which shares that ideology; look at the universities, which teach that ideology; look at what has been done to destroy the mind of our young people with Nintendo games, videogames, and so forth. If you look at all those predicates, you have a development of an actually Satanic state of mind, which is spreading among larger parts of the world population, including the United States. My approach, therefore to all this, is not really to understand the problem, but to realize you have to use the crisis as the occasion, in a sense, to evangelize people back to a conception of what Man is. The only real cure of this problem is agape.

Billau: Well, now I would like to ask you this. If such forces had a techical, but also a propaganda capabilityin your article, you attack CNN, the world's largest television networkmy question is: At this point, did Bush fall into this giant trap, lock, stock and barrel?

LaRouche: Well, yes, and no. Bush is a very limited personality. Gore would have been a different President, but just as bad, in a different way. So, you have the institutions of the United States, especially the financial establishment, which reduced the choice of the President, last year, to these two choices. President Bush is only a limited person in a big job. He is facing, now, a crisis beyond his imagination. The important thing to look at, here, is that the President is the President of a Presidency which consists not only in the institutions of the Executive Branch of government, but, it can also call on the assistance of people who are not anymore active in government. To my knowledge, at this time, the institutions of the United States Executive Branch, at least a great part of it, are recognizing the existence of the problem I have described; they do not fully accept yet everything I have said, but they recognize that I am generally right.
So, on the one hand, you have the United States acting like an insane monster, which is afraid of the public opinion orchestrated by the mass news media; on the other side, the same Presidency, through the institution of the Presidency, is looking into alternatives to the kind of insanities which seems to be the U.S. policy right now.
And, very important, is the cooperation which the President is enjoying with other countries. Cooperation with Russia is very important, as well as with China. Under these conditions, the United States and these countries and Western Europe together, can lead a group of nations which can develop a solution, an alternative to the present crisis.
And the problem, therefore, is to have the key figure of the United State, who is now President, George Bush, to see this situation. This is like in the old days of feudalism: How do the wise advisors of the King advise him, when he really does not really understand how to handle the situation? So, many of us including me in my private capacity, as well as those in official capacities, are working together as much as possible to try to bring a solution to the situation, and escape from the madness which has seized the mind of much of the United States at this moment.
My view is this: If the people of the United States, and its leading institutions, recognize that a coup d'etat is in process, underway, and if leading nations of the world share that concern, then the forces behind this terror, which we just experienced, can not win. And the best way to defeat an enemy is to convince him that he can not win. And that is what I think the objective should be at this time. That is what I am trying to do.

Billau: And yet, it seems as if the general orientation of the United States and its allies is to launch a vast offensive against terrorism, but with very precise targets such as the famous bin Laden, Afghanistan, and other states which could have offered their supportIraq etc. Then, despite the divisions and the awareness inside some circles in the U.S. administration, indicated by LaRouche, it looks like what you expose as the wrong answer, is exactly taking place.

LaRouche: Well, if they do not change their policy, then you can look for a planet-wide dark age coming soon. That policy is insane, we have got to change it. And those who study the history of religious wars know exactly what I am saying. What His Holiness has been working for over the recent period, especially, in this line, is absolutely indispensabile for the world at this time. And if we do not change the policy, we know what the penalty is. Therefore, we cannot assess policy on the basis of prevailing opinion, if the acceptance of prevailing opinion means Hell. This is the time for real leaders and real heroes who lead the poor sheep out of the valley.

Billau: A signal of a counter-tendency, in the last hours, is Arafat's statement against terrorism, the Israeli withdrawal from some positions in the West Bank and Gaza, and the possible meeting between Perez and Arafat. Could this, according to LaRouche, help to reverse the tendency?

LaRouche: It probably could. Once people understand that there is no such thing as international terrorismit does not exist; terrorism is nothing than a method of war; it is not run by independent terrorist organizations. What the Israeli government is doing, what the IDF [Israeli Defense Forces] is doing, is as much terrorismit is even more sothan what the Palestinians are doing. If we bring about Middle East peace, or at least a peace agreement, go back to the Oslo Accord, back to Rabin's policy, then, as the activity of Secretary of State Powell has suggested, that turning point in the Middle East could be a turning point against the danger of the spread of general warfare. Therefore, the concentration of Powell and others on that particular point at issue, is extremely important.

Billau: Well, before we conclude our conversation, I would like to shortly go back to the terrorist attack and in particular, to the ongoing investigations. In the United States a network of terrorists has been identified, with names, family names, pilot licenses. etc. Is all this fake, according to you?

LaRouche: This is typical of desperate institutions which are trying to pretend that they are solving the problem. This has the characteristic of a witchhunt. If you are going to conduct an investigation of that kind, you don't spew it all over the mass media. When you hear this kind of public releases from government agencies, you say: Are they trying, actually, to investigate the case, or, are they trying to pretend to investigate the case? A lot of these names could be false; already there are strong indications of that. What you are dealing with, is a state of denial. You have to look at the state of mind of many institutions in the United States; corresponding to a decline in the moral and intellectual capability of the American people, is an increase in the state of denial.
Now, this includes people in key positions, faced with the fact that a major coup d'etat is in progress in the United States, and all leading institutions have the evidence that proves that. Then you say: Oh, no, it cannot be true; it must be these poor foreigners who are doing that to us. And this will be encouraged greatly by the retired flag-officer types, and similar types, who are running the coup. To turn U.S. public opinion and institutions into search of the enemy who is not there, in order to conceal the enemy who is there. The Americans would like to believe that the danger is a foreign danger, which can be eliminated solely by going to attack the foreigners, not dealing with the thing which is more fearful to them, the danger of the enemy within.

Billau: Lyndon LaRouche's thought is very clear. I wish to conclude by asking what do you think could Europe, and Italy as an ally of the United States, do in this situation.

LaRouche: First of all, you build up the cooperation which is developing between the United States, Russia, Western Europe, and other countries. An honest collaboration is what is needed. Not submission, but honest collaboration. You tell the United States government it is insanebut you do it politely. But also, provide alternative suggestions. People will sometimes not accept the existance of a problem unless somebody tells them the solution to that.
Remember, the underlying ground to this crisis is the collapse of the international and monetary financial system. We are now going over the edge in the worst monetary and financial crisis in world history. And that is where the underlying basis for collaboration should lie, not just on the negative side of dealing with this threat. If we can get collaboration in making the fundamental reversals in bad policies which have caused this crisis, they will bring the strong collaboration across the Atlantic which will help to solve this crisis. We have to get madness, panic, the revenge-seeking out of the problem; then we can solve it. And I would say, in one word: agapé.

Billau: Good. I thank Lyndon LaRouche, economist, several times Democratic candidate to the U.S. Presidency. And, we remind you now, because we forgot to do it at the beginning, LaRouche was imprisoned for five years during the Bush Presidency, the father of the current President. He was liberated after an international mobilization of Parlamentarians including, in Italy, Emma Bonino and Flaminio Piccoli.
Thank you Mr. LaRouche; and I wish everybody good work and good day.

Give your fellow Muslims their rights

Abu Hurayrah (radhiyallaahu 'anhu - may Allah be pleased with him) narrated that the Messenger of Allaah (sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam - may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said, "The rights of a Muslim upon their fellow Muslim are six." It was said, "And what are they Oh Messenger of Allaah?" He replied, "When you meet them, give them the greeting of peace, when they invite you, respond to their invitation, when they seek your advice, advise them sincerely, when they sneeze and praise Allaah, supplicate for mercy upon them, when they fall ill, visit them, and when they die follow them (i.e. his funeral)."

MuslimThe First Right:

"When you meet them, give them the greeting of peace." For verily the greeting of peace is a cause of love one another, which results in producing faith (Al-Eemaan), which results in the person entering the Paradise. This is as Prophet (sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam) said,
"By the one in Whose Hand is my soul, you all will not enter into the Paradise until you believe, and you will not believe until you love each other. Shall I not direct you to something that if you do it, you will love each other? Spread the greeting of peace amongst yourselves."
The greeting of peace is from the virtuous characteristics of Islaam. For verily each of the two people who meet each other supplicates for the other for safety from evils, and mercy, and blessing that brings about every good. And what follows this is a cheerful face and appropriate words of greeting which result in unity and love, and it removes feelings of estrangement and cold disassociation. Thus, giving the greeting of peace is the right of the Muslim, and it is obligatory upon the person who is greeted to return greeting with a similar greeting or one that is better than it. And the best of the people are those who start the greeting of peace first.

The Second Right:

"When they invite you, respond to their invitation." This means that when he invites you with an invitation to some food and drink, then fulfill the request of your brother who has drawn near to you and honored you with the invitation. Respond to his invitation (i.e. accept it), unless you have an excuse.

The Third Right:

His statement, "And when they seek your advice, advise them sincerely." This means that if he seeks consultation with you regarding some action, as to whether he should do it or not, then advise him with that which you would like for yourself. Thus, if the action is something that is beneficial in all aspects, then encourage him to do that, and if it is something harmful, then warn him against it. And if the action contains both benefit and harm, then explain that to him and weigh the benefits against the harms. Likewise, if he consults with you concerning some dealing with someone among the people, or whether he should marry a woman off to someone, or whether he should marry someone, then extend your pure and sincere advice to him, and deal with him from the view point of what you would do for you own self. And avoid deceiving him in any matter of these things. For verily whoever deceives the Muslims, then he is not of them, and indeed he has left off the obligation of being sincere and advising. And this sincerity and advising is absolutely obligatory, however it becomes more emphasized when the person seeks your advice and he requests from you that you give him a beneficial opinion. For this reason the Prophet (sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam) specifically mentioned it in this important situation.

The Fourth Right:

"And when they sneeze and praise Allaah, then pray for mercy upon them." This is due to the fact that sneezing is a favor from Allaah, in the expelling of this congested air that is blocked in certain parts of the body of the human being. Allaah makes it easy for this air to have a passage out where it can exit, and thus the sneezing person feels relief. Thus, the Prophet (sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam) legislated that the person praise Allaah for this favor, and he legislated for his (Muslim) brother to say to him, "May Allaah have mercy upon you." He also commanded the person who sneezed to answer his (Muslim) brother by saying to him, "May Allaah guide you and set right your affairs." Therefore, whoever does not praise Allaah, then he does not deserve for others to pray for mercy upon him, and in this case he cannot blame anyone except himself. For he is the one who has caused himself to lose the two blessings: the blessing of praising Allaah, and the blessing of his brother's supplication for him that is a result of the praising.

The Fifth Right:

His statement, "And when they fall ill, visit them." Visiting the sick is from the rights of the Muslim, and especially for the person who has a highly stressed and emphasized right upon you, like the relative, and the friend, and so forth. It is from the best of the righteous deeds. And whoever visits their fellow Muslim, they remain engulfed in the mercy (of Allaah), and when they sit with him the mercy (of Allaah) covers them. And whoever visits the sick Muslim at the beginning of the day, the Angels send prayers of blessing upon him until evening comes, and whoever visits him at the end of the day, the Angels send prayers of blessing upon him until morning comes. It is desired for the person who visits the sick to supplicate for him to be cured and to make him feel at ease. He should ease his worries by giving him glad tidings of well-being and recovery (i.e. be positive). He should remind him of repentance and turning to Allaah, and he should give him beneficial admonition. He should not sit with him too long (i.e. over staying his welcome), rather he should only sit with him long enough fulfill the right of visiting, unless the sick person is positively effected by many people coming in to see him and many people coming to sit with him. Thus, for each situation there is a different statement (i.e. advice on how to deal with it).

The Sixth Right:

His statement, "And if they die, follow them (his/her funeral)." For verily whoever follows the funeral until the deceased's body is prayed over, then he will receive a Qeeraat of reward. (Translator's note: A Qeeraat is an amount equivalent to the size of the Mountain of Uhud in Madinah.) And if he follows the funeral procession until the body is buried, then he will receive two Qeeraats of reward. And following the funeral procession contains (fulfillment of) a right for Allaah, a right for the deceased, and a right for the living relatives of the deceased.Ash-Shaikh 'Abdur-Rahmaan bin Naasir As-Sa`dee (Rahimahullaah)

Source: Bahjatu Quloob il-Abraar wa Qurratu 'Uyoon il-Akhyaar fee Jaami' il-Akhbaar, pp. 65-67, hadeeth no. 29.

Saturday, July 30, 2005

A pious Muslim woman is like Paradise on Earth!!!

You look at me and call me oppressed,
Simply because of the way I’m dressed,

You know me not for what’s inside,
You judge the clothing I wear with pride,

My body is not for your eyes to hold,
You must speak to my mind, not my feminine mould,

I’m an individual, I’m no mans slave,
It’s Allah’s pleasure that I only crave,

I have a voice so I will be heard,
For in my heart I carry His word,

“O ye women, wrap close your cloak, so you won’t be bothered by ignorant folk”,

Man doesn’t tell me to dress this way,
It’s a law from God that I obey,

Oppressed is something I’m truly NOT,
For liberation is what I’ve got,

It was given to me many years ago,
With the right to prosper, the right to grow,

I can climb mountains or cross the seas,
Expand my mind in all degrees,

For God Himself gave us


When He sent Islam,
To You and Me!

An Open Letter To All Muslims

In Europe, Britain and America
by Gabriel Chiron

I am not a Muslim, but rather I am a member of a growing minority of
people who know the truth that terrorist events like New York 911,
Madrid 311 and London 77 were inside jobs, acts of false flag terrorism
performed by the intelligence units of the governments of America, Spain
and Britain. So do not let them dupe you that you have in your midst an
actual “Al Qaeda” that is committing the vile deeds against common
people. The majority of everyday Non-Muslim citizens here in the West
are against the Wars-For-Oil in Afghanistan, Iraq and sooner or later in
Iran. Why would an “Al Qaeda” that is real strike at their
truth-supporters rather than the black, evil governments of America,
Britain and Europe? They would attack their real enemies, not the people.

Dear Muslim, I am not afraid of you! I am afraid for you because you
are being set-up, demonized, to justify the
Bilderberg-Evil-Insane-New-World-Order black, secret government’s,
Neocon’s and New Labour’s efforts to produce police states domestically
and seize oil supplies internationally. You must not let evil, lying
leaders like Bush and Blair make you believe that your religion is evil
and dangerous. When you organize big demonstrations of “Muslims Against
Terrorism”, change that to Muslims Against False Flag Terrorism. That
would bring out the truth better as to how hatred and intolerance are
being created against you.

As a result of what is being done to you, I have purchased a volume of
the Koran, which I have been reading in search of a key in your own
religion as to what is happening to you in Europe, Britain and America.
I have found an interesting verse, which is verse 115 of section 14 of
Sura II:

“To God belong the East and the West:

Whithersoever Ye turn,

there is the presence of God.

For God is All-Pervading, All-Knowing.”

How are we, both Muslims and Non-Muslims, people of the East and the
West, to understand this? It seems to me that it means that the East
(Muslim countries) will never belong to the West (Western countries, New
World Order) nor will the West (America, Britain and Europe) ever belong
to the East (Muslim, Hindu or Buddhist countries). To God, to the Lord
(Al-Lah), belong all countries on Earth. The West cannot conquer the
East and possess it, nor the East conquer the West and possess it. Wars
for territory are wars against God, against the All-Pervading Spirit of
Truth. So they will fail in their aim because only the Will of God can
succeed. Your religion makes it clear in its own terms that any war
between West and East must fail for both sides as an insanity of mutual
destruction because God alone is All-Powerful, Omnipotent. Therefore
the New World Order cannot destroy the religion of Islam, nor can the
religion of Islam destroy Western Culture, Christianity, Israel or
scientific materialism, for all religions and cultures are under the
Cosmic Law of the One Lord of the Universe, as are the races and
religions of countless planets of countless stars and galaxies of the

Osama Bin Laden and Zarqawi are not Heroes of Islam! They are foolish
puppets of the CIA, MI6 and Mossad! Know this with full certainty. Do
not be misled. Wake up to the full truth of the vile plots of Western
Governments against all citizens of America, Britain and Europe, whether
Muslim or Non-Muslim. It is the full truth of what is going on behind
the scenes that alone will liberate you from persecution. Join forces
with Us, the people of Truth and Tolerance. Together we must be a clear
voice against the lies and evil actions of the hidden Governments of the
West. Simultaneously, the lies and bad evil projects of the governments
of Islamic nations must also be exposed. For instance, the superwealthy
powers in Saudi Arabia are shamelessly in league with the Bilderberg
Evil Insane New World Order. This utterly pollutes Mecca and the
Ka’aba, defiling your religion and your peoples. This is the real evil
of the Bin Laden family in Saudi Arabia that they cooperate with false
flag terrorism and the cover-up of the depleted state of their own oil
reserves. There are lies in both the East and the West. Muslims and
Non-Muslims are both victims of lies, treachery and manipulations.
Every government on Earth is against God, against Truth, against
Tolerance and Decency. Good-willed people throughout the Earth share
the actual common problem. Together we must solve it.

Explaining human suffering and why Allaah does not prevent it

Question: How do we explain God to someone who believes that while God exists, they cannot accept or understand how a merciful, comapssionate God would allow so much human suffering to take place. The analogy they give is that if we are God's children, why does God not protect us - just as a parent would gaurd over their children?

Praise be to Allaah. Allaah (God) Almighty, is most merciful and compassionate, without any doubt. Yet his actions can not be fully comprehended by our incompetent minds. What simplifies this issue is that we all agree that Allaah is fair, just, wise and knowing. That means whatever he-Almighty- does, is with a legitimate purpose although we may not be able to understand, just why. For example, a caring and loving doctor and father may be forced to amputate the leg of his only son. There is no doubt that this father loves his son. Yet his action was for the sake of this beloved son, although it may seem cruel to those who do not understand the circumstances. Allah _Almighty _ has the greater and higher example, and it is not to any of his creatures to question his doings as it is mentioned in Sura 21 verse 23 (interpreted means: "He cannot be questioned for His acts, but they will be questioned (for theirs)".

It is a Muslim's belief that suffering of pain, hunger, tragic accidents etc, are due to one's sins, for Allaah wants this suffering to erase these sins which were made by this Muslim. Allaah says in Sura 42 verse 30 interpreted means: "Whatever misfortune happens to you, is because of the things your hands have wrought, and for many (of them) He grants forgiveness". It is also apparent that man in times of crisis gets closer to Allaah and starts repenting, while in times of ease and comfort he is far from remembering the blessings of Allaah and he uses these gifts and blessings in committing sin after sin.

Allaah -Almighty- has shown man the path of good and evil, and he gave him the power and will to choose. Therefore, man is accountable to his deeds and the punishment he receives for them, for life in this world is merely a test, but the results are to be known in the hereafter and Allaah knows best.

Who Needs Counseling?

Who Needs Counseling?

by Timothy L. Sanford, M.A., L.P.C.

Reluctance about counseling

"I don't want to talk to a stranger about all my personal problems."
"Counseling costs too much."
"It won't help anyway."
"I don't have the time."
"Therapy is for crazy people . and I'm not crazy."

Are you reluctant to consider counseling for a personal, family or marital problem? Take heart, you're not alone. Still, it's important to realize that counseling with a trained professional might be helpful for what you're facing.

Therapy isn't the stereotypical picture of you lying on a couch talking about how you were potty-trained. It's not some individualized version of Analyze This or What About Bob? Quality counseling can help you gain a better understanding of what's going on in your situation and inside yourself. This awareness can give you a new viewpoint on yourself and your circumstances, help you make good choices and lead to action steps that will change your life. When it feels like you can't see the forest for the trees, it's a good time to seek an outside perspective.

It's not just for crazy people

Corporations hire consultants every day - outsiders with an objective vantage point to help assess, plan and implement changes that will better the company. You take your car to a mechanic when you hear that "clunking" sound, because he knows more about cars than you do. Elite-level athletes frequently elicit specialty coaches to help them improve mental focus and discipline.

People are always seeking outside assistance. It's no different when the issue is anxiety, perfectionism, depression, lack of confidence, marital discord or an alcoholic spouse. Going to a trained expert who is objective and will help you make significant changes is just plain smart. Marriages sometimes need a tune-up when communication hits a stalemate. Seeking out a "brain coach" can help you with your lack of confidence or inability to make that important decision. While you may not choose to tell people you are seeking therapy, it's nothing to be ashamed of - you're in good company.

What to expect from a therapist

During your first appointment, your rights as a client, state confidentiality laws and limitations of therapy will be given to you in writing or reviewed verbally with you. The therapist will also give you a written disclosure statement of his/her licensure, other credentials and areas of expertise.
The therapist will conduct a thorough assessment of your present situation and important background information. You will be interviewed and possibly given a written psychological assessment to complete.
The counselor will then suggest a treatment plan, whether written or verbalized, about how to address the issue(s) at hand. Part of this plan will be the therapist's best guess as to how long (assuming no new issues arise) the counseling process is likely to take.
If you are worried about your privacy and fear that your secrets will get out, realize that all licensed professionals are bound by law to keep confidential what is said and documented in a therapy session. There are exceptions in situations where there is potential suicide or homicide danger, evidence of physical abuse to a minor or an elderly person, or suspicion of sexual abuse of a minor. However, a therapist is obligated to inform you of this at your first appointment.

Choosing a good therapist

Get referrals. You can check with friends, a school counselor, churches and/or your physician's office.
Interview each counselor over the telephone. Ask questions like: What credentials and certifications do you have? How long have you been in practice? What issues do you specialize in? What is your experience in the specific area I am seeking counseling for? How would you approach this type of issue? Do you assign homework? What are your fees? Ask as many questions as you want.
Choose a therapist and begin. Not all therapists operate the same way. Some will be very interactive. Some may have an "in your face" style. Others will be more subdued and simply reflect back to you what they hear you saying and what they sense you are feeling. Picking a therapist is like buying a new pair of shoes. While there are many quality shoes around, you only buy the pair that fits you. There is no "one size fits all" in counseling. If the counselor doesn't feel like a fit, don't buy. While individual styles of therapy vary, it is usually better to choose a counselor who is active, not passive in the session, working with you - not just listening to you.
Actively work with the therapist. If you disagree, speak up. If you have questions, ask. If the therapist isn't making sense, seek clarification. The more active you are in the process, the better.
Realize that you are not "stuck" with a counselor forever. If things are not going well or no clear plan of action is shared with you, speak up. If your personalities don't match or his/her style is not what you are comfortable with, talk openly about making a change to another therapist.
Not a last resort

When it comes to dealing with the changes, challenges and crises of life, it's important to seek help early. Don't wait until that clunking noise turns into total transmission failure. The sooner you seek help, the shorter and easier it will usually be, because there is less of a "mess" to deal with. Counseling isn't just for crazy or weak people; it's for anyone who can benefit from an outside, objective, expert perspective to help them along this journey of life.

If you'd like to talk with a counselor at TroubledWith, or would like information about counselors in your local area, please visit our "Consider Counseling" page.

Friday, July 29, 2005


Imagine this happening to you...

One day during Jummah Salah, a 1,000 member congregation was surprised to see two men enter, both covered from head to toe in black and carrying sub-machine guns.
One of the men proclaimed, "Anyone willing to take a bullet for Allah remain where you are."
Immediately, the congregation fled, and out of the 1,000 there only remained around 20.
The man who had spoken took off his hood, looked at the Imaam and said,
"Okay Maulana, I got rid of all the hypocrites. Now you may begin your sermon."
The two men then turned and walked out."

Too deep not to pass on?

"Funny how simple it is for people to trash Allah ... and then wonder why the world's going to hell."

"Funny how we believe what the newspapers say ... but question what the Qu'ran says."

"Funny how everyone wants to go to heaven ... provided they do not have to believe, think, say, or do anything the Quran says."

"Funny how someone can say 'I believe in Allah' ... but still follow Shaitaan (who, by the way, also 'believes' in Allah)."

"Funny how you can send a thousand 'jokes' through e-mail and they spread like wildfire ... but when you start sending messages regarding Allah, people think twice about sharing."

"Funny how the lewd, crude, vulgar and obscene pass freely through cyberspace ... but the public discussion of Allah is suppressed in the school and workplace."

Funny, isn't it? Or scary?

"Funny how someone can be so fired up for Allah on Friday ... but be an invisible Muslim the rest of the week."

Are you laughing?

"Funny how when you go to share this message ... you will not share it with many people because you're not sure what they believe, or what they will think of you for sending it to them."
"Funny how I can be more worried about what other people think of me ... than what Allah thinks of me."

Are you thinking?

Will you share this with people you care about?

Or not?

This mail was not something done by me, but got it from the net for you brothers and sisters. Lets all remember each other and the person who did this mail in our prayers.Ameen


July 28, 2005
The Wisdom Fund

by Enver Masud

Muslim scholars in the United States, Canada, Spain, and the United
Kingdom have now issued fatwas -- opinions regarding religious doctrine
or law by a recognized authority -- against terrorism. Hopefully, this
may silence critics who had been asking why Muslims hadn't spoken out
against terrorism. They had, but mainstream news media gave them little

Muslims with only a minimal understanding of Islam know that Islam
prohibits acts of violence against noncombatants, prohibits destruction
of the crops, water supplies, etc. of the enemy, and urges forgiveness
rather than retribution. However, the fatwas issued today provide
little new guidance to Muslims confronted with the complexities of the
real world. More is needed to answer the questions others have debated
and failed to answer adequately.

First, what is terrorism?

A UN high-level Panel on Threats, Challenges and Change defined
terrorism as any action intended to cause death or serious bodily harm
to civilians or noncombatants with the purpose of intimidating a
population or compelling a government or an international organization
to do, or abstain from, any act.

According to Webster's New World Dictionary -- the Second College
Edition which I happen to have handy -- terrorism often equates with
power politics and realpolitik.

Second, who is a terrorist and who is a freedom fighter?

To cite an often repeated cliche: one man's terrorist is another man's
freedom fighter. The passage of time may cause us to change our opinion
of them. We have only to consider the labels applied over time to Nelson
Mandela, the "terrorist" and recipient of the Nobel Peace Prize (1993);
Yasser Arafat, the "terrorist" and recipient of the Nobel Peace Prize
(1994); and America's founding fathers -- terrorists in the eyes of the
British, freedom fighters in the eyes of Americans.

An Italian judge ruled in April this year that "militants who attack
military or state targets, even with suicide bombers, cannot be
considered terrorists in times of war or occupation."

Third, who is a civilian?

It is not always clear. The U.S. troops in Iraq are supported by an army
of civilian contractors who bring them fuel, food, and other supplies.
The U.S. occupation of Iraq is overseen, and supported, by the largest
U.S. embassy in the world many of whom carry out intelligence
activities. Are these civilians or legitimate targets for the Iraqi

In the past, intelligence agencies are reported to have infiltrated
consulting firms, charitable organizations, news services, student
groups, etc.

Israel presents a different issue. Except for religious scholars who are
exempt, Israelis are drafted into the Israel Defense Force at age 18.
Men serve for three years, women for 21 months. Upon completion of
compulsory service each soldier is assigned to a reserve unit. Are
these reservists, who change from military uniform to civilian clothes
in the same day, civilians or military targets.

Fourth, what about the rights of citizens of an occupied country?

Under international law, citizens of an occupied country have the legal
right to resist occupation by any and all means. Indeed history recorded
with favor the French resistance that fought against Nazi occupation.

Does the right to resist occupation grant authority to attack the
Israeli settlers in occupied Palestine?

Fifth, what about state-sponsored acts of violence?

Former Supreme Court Justice Robert Jackson, chief U.S. prosecutor at
the first Nuremberg trial, called waging aggressive war "the supreme
international crime differing only from other war crimes in that it
contains within itself the accumulated evil of the whole."

"The same view would later be confirmed by the International Criminal
Tribunal for the Far East. It was also confirmed in the detailed
judgment in the 'Ministries Case' of the Subsequent Proceedings held at
Nuremberg" wrote Benjamin B. Ferencz -- a prosecutor at the subsequent
Nuremberg war crimes trials.

Does the fatwa apply to Russia's war on the Chechens, China's
respression of the Uighurs, the Philippines' war on the Moros of
Mindanao, and the U.S. invasion of Iraq -- the supreme international

FREE BOOK "THE WAR ON ISLAM" at http://www.twf.org/Library/woi3aL.pdf
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The Wisdom Fund

Being a Muslim for a month

Being a Muslim for a month
by Kris Evans in the United States
Thursday 07 July 2005 9:20 AM GMT

Dave Stacy (R), with his hosts Shamael and Sadia Shakir Haque

From eating McDonald's to being a Muslim for 30 days, a new documentary series by Morgan Spurlock of Super Size Me fame delves into the lives of Muslims in America.

For 30 Days, a Christian from the Bible Belt lived with a Muslim family in Michigan. The result? Heated arguments, religious confusion, and the start of a beautiful friendship.

Spurlock single-handedly took on the world's largest fast-food chain with his first documentary, Super Size Me, which saw the filmmaker eat nothing but McDonald's for 30 days.

The documentary was nominated for an Oscar in 2004, and although they deny the film was a motivating factor, McDonald's has now stopped the Super Size option in the US.

"After the test screening of Super Size Me, we knew we had something great that tapped into something visceral and personal in people," says Spurlock over breakfast in a Los Angeles diner.

"We don't get any happy Muslim stories. We don't get 'Here's a great thing a Muslim did today' and I wanted to do a show that would demonstrate what it is like to be a Muslim in America"

Morgan Spurlock,
documentary maker
Inspired by the debate that raged following early screenings of his McDonald's epic, he sought new subjects to put under the microscope. Top of the list was being a Muslim in post-9/11 America.

"We don't get any happy Muslim stories," he says. "We don't get 'Here's a great thing a Muslim did today' and I wanted to do a show that would demonstrate what it is like to be a Muslim in America."


The stage was set: Spurlock would take an ordinary American - if such a thing exists - and have him live with a Muslim family, observing all their customs, for one month.

Finding the participants was not easy, Spurlock on one hand being careful to weed out those looking for Reality TV-style fame while at the same time trying to find a Muslim family who did not feel they were walking into a trap.

"As with most communities, the Muslim community is very tight knit and very protective, especially in post 9/11 America," says Spurlock. "They scrutinise any journalistic integrity and you can see why, with what's happened."

Dave Stacy had initially thought
Muslim meant a man with a gun

The guinea pig in this experiment would be Dave Stacy, a 33-year-old insurance sales executive from West Virginia.

Stacy is described in the show as a "beer-drinking, pork-eating American". As a practising Christian with no knowledge of Islam, Stacy admitted - before embarking on his 30-day journey - that he had felt reassured after 9/11 when he saw Muslims profiled at airports.

When Spurlock pressed him for what came to mind when someone said the word "Muslim", Stacy replied: "A man with an AK-47, at war with someone."

Mutual scepticism

The scepticism was not only on Stacy's side.

"We were worried that this was someone very opinionated about Muslims," says Shamael Haque, a first year resident in neuropsychiatry at Henry Ford hospital in Detroit.

Haque, along with his wife Sadia Shakir, who attends the Thomas Cooley Law School, put these reservations aside and opened their Dearborn, Michigan, home to this stranger from the Bible Belt.

"I had a lot of sleepless nights, the days were 15 hours of heated debates, often about global economics and politics, something which - like many Americans - I don't know that much about. It was information overload"

Dave Stacy, who lived as a Muslim for 30 days

During his 30 days, Stacy lived, ate and prayed with his Muslim hosts.

He also read the Quran, tried to learn Arabic and visited a halal slaughterhouse. In one very tense scene, he went out on to the street to petition Americans into signing a bill to stop the profiling of Muslim Americans.

Looking back at the experience, Stacy recounts how he would often hear shouts of "Faith Traitor!" and "American Taliban!", while in Muslim areas he was approached by people who, as Stacy says, "thought the whole show was a conspiracy to make them look bad".

Traditional dress

Stacy was dressed most of the time in a salwar and kurta, something which initially bothered Sadia Shakir Haque.

"I did think 'Why are you wearing this clothing when none of us wear this?' It's not realistic," she says.

But the producers were adamant that Stacy make this change in his dress as well as grow a beard. Their insistence on this point certainly created a more eventful trip to the airport where Stacy, dressed in his new Pakistani attire, felt what many Muslims have gone through at airports since the September 11 2001 attacks on the United States.

He was stopped for the first time in his life, searched, and stared at throughout the journey.

Stacy laughs, looking back on the flight. "A lady sitting next to me on the plane was so nervous she couldn't knit," he says.


During the daytime, while the Haques were at work, Stacy took regular meetings with a local imam. But their sessions did not produce the clear answers and explanations Stacy was searching for and he started to look elsewhere.

Morgan Spurlock says Americans
do not think beyond their towns
Enter Ameer, his Arabic teacher. In the fun and relaxed atmosphere of an English speaker trying to get his mouth around Arabic pronunciation, Stacy made his first tentative steps into understanding the religion.

"Ameer initially was there to teach me Arabic but it was so much more," says Stacy. "It's so strange for me, as fond as I am of him, to think that he was one of the people I was vilifying. It's really opened my eyes."

That is Stacy talking now, but at the time the amount of new information was almost too much.

"I had a lot of sleepless nights, the days were 15 hours of heated debates, often about global economics and politics, something which - like many Americans - I don't know that much about. It was information overload. At night I had time with my thoughts - thoughts I had not had before."

In one scene, Stacy is clearly taken aback to learn that Muslims are part of the same monotheistic tradition that he follows himself.

It seemed to highlight simultaneously how little most Americans know about Islam, and how much work American Muslims still have to do in taking control of their image.

"We need to make a better effort in how we are represented," says Sadia Shakir Haque, echoing a point she made in the documentary. "We take it for granted living in Muslim communities, and we must not forget how we are perceived by those outside it."

Sadia Shakir Haque's experience living in Miami's melting pot, where it was common to see Jewish women - not to mention the Catholic nuns on her college campus - covering their hair, helped her give some context to Stacy while educating him on the hijab.

"I explained to him that Muslim women were continuing that sense of modesty."

September 11

A dinner discussion where Stacy questioned why Muslim Americans had not come out more strongly and condemned the attacks on the World Trade Centre created one of the most illustrative scenes on the divide of viewpoints.

"There are deeper issues about Muslims in that region (Middle East)... We can't just say these people are crazy. We need to ask what would make them so crazy that they would do that"

Shamael Haque, Stacy's host for 30 days, speaking about 9/11

Shamael Haque's view was that in post 9/11 America the key questions were simply not being asked.

"There are deeper issues about Muslims in that region, and what would lead a person to do something as irrational as that. But if people do ask questions, then they are viewed as unpatriotic," he says.

"We can't just say these people are crazy. We need to ask what would make them so crazy that they would do that."

Stacy was clearly uncomfortable facing up to this question.

"I had these feelings that I was being unpatriotic," he says, but adds that since the documentary was finished he has found himself engaging in political discussions more often.

Friday prayers

Stacy's other major obstacle was praying in a mosque, something which he said at the start of the documentary he would not be willing to do.

Spurlock says: "For me the best line of the episode is when Dave is conflicted about going to his first juma and he is overcome with emotion and goes to Imam Husseini and says, 'I just don't know if I believe this, what you're saying.' And the imam replies, 'David, you're here to learn, not to believe.'"

A participant in another of Spurlock's documentaries in the series quit before the end of his 30 days, but Stacy lasted the course, eventually taking part in the prayer at the mosque.

Stacy and the Haques have kept in contact and are planning on meeting this summer.

"We expected him not to know the principles," says Shamael Haque. "But he was very receptive, open to learning."

Harsh words

Where the rest of the nation is concerned, Spurlock ends with some harsh words.

"We can't demonise six million American Muslims. There are 270 million Americans out there and the last time I checked, Timothy McVeigh wasn't a Muslim. So I think that we just need to preach a little tolerance"

Morgan Spurlock,
documentary maker
"We're a country where 15% have passports. We don't think beyond our borders so why should we think beyond our own towns? We are in this protective world. We're a nation that doesn't read newspapers, we don't read books.

"For me, that's why a show like this is important, to get some information out there to educate people. We can't demonise six million American Muslims. There are 270 million Americans out there and the last time I checked, Timothy McVeigh wasn't a Muslim. So I think that we just need to preach a little tolerance."

By Kris Evans in the United States

You can find this article at:

O Allah, O Sufficer of the isolated and weak and Protector against terrifying affairs! Offenses have isolated me, so there is none to be my companion. I am too weak for Thy wrath and there is none to strengthen me. I have approached the terror of meeting Thee and there is none to still my fear. I beg for Your Mercy! Ameen
Push On Dua!

Thursday, July 28, 2005

Report: Israel Was Warned Ahead of First Blast

Report: Israel Was Warned Ahead of First Blast
10:43 Jul 08, '05 / 1 Tammuz 5765

(IsraelNN.com) Army Radio quoting unconfirmed reliable sources reported a short time ago that Scotland Yard had intelligence warnings of the attacks a short time before they occurred.

The Israeli Embassy in London was notified in advance, resulting in Finance Minister Binyamin Netanyahu remaining in his hotel room rather than make his way to the hotel adjacent to the site of the first explosion, a Liverpool Street train station, where he was to address an economic summit.

At present, train and bus service in London have been suspended following the series of attacks. No terrorist organization has claimed responsibility at this time.

Israeli officials stress the advanced Scotland Yard warning does not in any way indicate Israel was the target in the series of apparent terror attacks.

Shake it Off and Take a Step up!

One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.

He invited all his neighbours to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he quieted down.

A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up.

As the farmer's neighbours continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!

Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a steppingstone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up.

Holy Quran says: "You may dislike a thing but Allah brings a great deal of blessings through it". (4:19)

In another place Holy Quran says: "It is possible that you dislike a thing which is good for you and you may love a thing while it is bad for you. Surely Allah knows and you know not". (2:216)

Remember the five simple rules to be happy:

1. Free your heart from hatred - Forgive.

2. Free your mind from worries - Most never happen.

3. Live simply and appreciate what you have.

4. Give more.

5. Expect less.

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Dress For Success: In This World And The Next

By Maria Hussa

Islam Online, New Jersey

So you're fresh out of college and ready to take on the world. Your first job interview - what are you going to wear? Let's face it. In America, employment is based only partially on your qualification for the job. They have already seen your resumé, and they liked it. The interview is how they decide if they like you. It is the image you project that tells your potential employer if you are the man or woman for the job.

Whether you are conscious of it or not, you always communicate. Within seconds, a potential boss has guessed your age, marital status, race, economic class, nationality, educational background, personal capabilities, character, goals, and if you can be trusted.

In other countries, status is often based on tribal or regional associations, and people are respected or disrespected based on their birth. However, in America, nobody has even heard of whatever region or family name some may feel is superior, and nobody cares what your grandfather did for a living. Here, social status comes primarily from the personal power a person is able to internalize and project. That is the reason that "clothes make the man" in America.

The way you dress, walk and stand, the force of your handshake, your tone of voice, and the directness of your eye contact all reveal if you are a valuable and important person or not. Business dress is all about maximizing the positive unconscious mental reactions we get from others.

It is necessary for new immigrants and first-generation Americans to understand the symbolic value of the different styles of dress and social behaviors of the various sub-groups within American culture, in order to realize what messages we are putting out there and to make sure that they are the messages we want to be sending. That is how we take control over how others assess us.

Because they lack this basic understanding of American culture, kids of foreigners almost always have trouble fitting in socially in school. They are often tempted to buy the trendiest outfits in order to look "cool." They don't have anyone to tell him or her, "A pair of straight-leg Levis might last you ten years without looking out of date. But those fluorescent orange shirts and bell-bottoms are going to look really foolish in a short amount of time, so they are not a good long-term investment." The other children unconsciously reject them because their clothes never look right.

It may take years for these new Americans to realize that in terms of creating a future for themselves and forging a career in this country, there is far more merit to maintaining a "timeless classic" look. Within the American school system, values constantly change about who is "in" and who is "out," but the preppies are the upper caste at all times, because their clothing says "Leader." They wear ironed, button-down shirts, polos and penny loafers, the leisure clothes of the rich. These kids usually get good grades and do well in sports. They do not have to work hard for popularity.

This same silent conversation that determines students' social success or failure in school by the clothes they wear continues in the office, but now it takes on new importance. Your clothes tell people not only your job rank, but also whether or not you intend to be promoted. If all the employees are equal in ability, when the supervisor wants to choose a project manager, he or she will choose the person who looks the most like a project manager. That is, the person who comes in with a freshly ironed shirt and polished shoes each day, whose fingernails are clean, who has taken the time to make polite small talk with both the bosses and the secretaries, demonstrating self-confidence and personability. The person who has self-respect will gain respect.

It is especially important for the Muslims in America to understand the psychology of the American people in its finer details in order to be able to play the role of public relations agent for Islam in their everyday lives. Indeed, a smart-dressed Muslim businessperson who is well-mannered, well-groomed, standing tall on the subway, saying nothing, has done more to enhance the image of Islam in this country than another hard-working Muslim standing on the corner handing out 1000 pamphlets, no matter how pure his intentions.

Islamic clothing guidelines present a challenging fashion statement. Can we identify ourselves as Muslims and still look respectable, employable, and smart? The answer is yes, but it is very important not to go halfway when it comes to Islamic dress.

I recently read a fashion review where the American writer was appalled at the Muslim women's attempt to compromise with western dress, wearing the scarf with form-fitting pants or short skirts. As she described it, they were Muslim only from the neck up and it looked awful. The clothes took away the person's personality completely. So do not make a joke of yourself in front of the non-Muslims by compromising your dress. Your challenge is to find a way to wear business clothes in a truly Islamic fashion. And it can be done. A blazer worn over a long skirt with hijab looks very stylish and smart. You can also wear a nice blouse and sweater with loose pants.

I have found that the more expensive department stores are more likely to have modest clothing. If you shop carefully, you can find clothes that are long, elegant, and appropriate for the office. Men should also strive to keep to Islamic guidelines, because American law defends their right to wear a beard on the job. However, it is imperative that the beard be kept neat and clean. Trousers should, of course, be loose.

We also have to be careful about cultural habits because some Muslim cultural traits can give the wrong message to others. I once watched a Muslim woman apply for a job, all the while staring at the manager's shoes. Needless to say, she was not even considered for the position. Staring at the floor may be a gesture of respect and modesty in Jordan, but in America, this behavior says, "I am highly insecure, and I do not relate well with others."

It is necessary for us to make direct eye contact, if only briefly, in order to assert one's self-confidence to potential employers. There is a world of difference between this and flirting. When sharing an office with persons of the opposite gender, it is necessary to be polite. You must greet men and women pleasantly. If someone is about to shake your hand and you wish to decline, you must explain without delay, "Although shaking hands with women/men is against my religion, I am very pleased to meet you." If you fear losing your chance at a job offer, then give a quick shake with a firm grip and no one will ever accuse you of anything inappropriate.

Shower every morning, brush your teeth, and wear deodorant if necessary. The smell of curry and garlic oozing out of your pores might not be noticeable to you, but to those with less aromatic dietary habits, it may be difficult to work near you. The same is true for cologne and perfume. Use it sparingly, or not at all. This is not Eid. A worker whose smell disturbs others will not get far, no matter what his capabilities.

Match your belt with your shoes, and your socks to either your pants/skirt or your shoes. In most cases, black is the best color for your shoes and belt. If you are in a position of authority, man or woman, you must wear a suit. Your clothes should be ironed carefully the night before.

Keep your color choice very conservative: black, gray, dark blue. When you are new on the job, pay attention to what others are wearing. If the atmosphere is somewhat relaxed, expand your wardrobe but use the color brown very sparingly. A man's brown suit screams "foreigner" or "schoolteacher from the Midwest."

Buy high-quality fabrics. Wool trousers, no blends. Cotton/Polyester blend shirts are okay only if the cotton ratio is higher than the polyester. However, pure cotton has the highest status. Cotton shirts need to be sent to the drycleaners to be starched and pressed professionally for that "crisp" look.

If you are a shy man and want to appear more confident at a meeting, wear a bold print tie with the color red. If you are a large, loud person and don't want to distance others, wear a cool blue tie.

Women, stay away from florals, bright colors, pinks and pastels. Save the flowing hippy skirts and shalwar kameez for a Saturday picnic. The business world does not value soft femininity. Wear deep, strong colors like deep purple, forest green, chocolate brown, charcoal gray, and maroon. A white or off-white blouse is fine.

Don't overdo the jewelry. Men, a wedding band and a nice watch are enough. Women, one ring and one bracelet per hand and one decorative pin to hold your scarf in place are the limit. When you have a good quality piece of jewelry, you don't need to clutter it with more jewelry. It looks trashy.

Watch your posture. Stand and sit up straight. This is good for your health, and gives people the idea that you are self-confident, trustworthy, and righteous.

I believe it is possible to wear hijab in a businesslike manner. Indeed, it is often recommended for women executives to don scarves as a sign of fashion flair, so why not wear the scarf pinned neatly around the face and draped elegantly over the bosom and shoulders? Again, stick to dark colors. Floral borders and prints may be used in moderation, but white scarves are a bit intimidating. Never tie the scarf beneath the chin or behind the neck because these styles tell people, "housewife," or "field worker"


And those who strive in Our (cause),- We will certainly guide them to our Paths(29:69)


If I told you someone was going to climb through your bedroom window at 1:17am, grab your wallet, your watch and your cell phone, would you get your guard up?

You probably wouldn't think I was serious, say 'yeah right,' and snuggle into your warm comfortable bed for a good night's sleep.

What if it did happen? What if you woke up and found that your wallet, your watch and your cell were gone?

If it did happen, you'd be duped. That's what.

Duped: conned, deceived, jerked around, fooled, played, tricked.

While these other words kind of give an idea of duped, they miss one important thing: to be duped is to see it coming, yet get hit.

If I told you I got news that someone was after you, that someone wanted to destroy you, that someone wanted to drag you into the depths of hell and was going to use all the resources available to do it, would you believe me?

What if Allah told you, would you believe Him?

What if that someone himself said it, would you believe it?

Check it out,

Satan said: "I will make things on earth seem attractive to them (mankind) and lead all of them to error, except those of Your servants whom You have singled out for Yourself." (Quran 15:39-40)

Satan has explained it clear enough: we, mankind, have a sworn enemy. So what do we do about it? Well for one, DON'T BE DUPED! ...

The Defense - 5 Things to Realize

1. We Choose, the Power is Ours!

Satan tries to convince us that we are just pawns in a plan that will play itself out. Allah is the Creator of all things, including men, women and their actions. We are the 'doers' of our actions, i.e. we choose to do certain things and not to do certain things.

"We showed him the way: whether he be grateful or ungrateful (rests on his will)." (Quran 76:3)

While Allah has the power to control our actions, He has given us guidance and left it up to us to follow it. Once we realize that we choose our actions, it only makes sense that we are accountable for what we do.

2. Dupe Check

With Satan constantly attacking us, we need to check our choices so we please Allah and make it to paradise. How do we know if we are on track or headed for a wreck? We should always keep ourselves in check.

But as the saying goes, 'no one can be their own best critic'. That's why it's important to receive critiques from others with an open mind. No one likes to hear they're doing something wrong, but we should take every opportunity we can to hold ourselves to account before we are held accountable by the All Seeing, All Hearing and All Knowing God.

3. The Ultimate Reinforcement

Satan admits he can't win over those people who follow in the path of Allah. When we feel Satan's whisper loosen our grip on what's real and what really matters, we call for back-up:

"O my Lord, I seek refuge with you from the evil ones. And I seek refuge with you, O my Lord, lest they should come near me." (Quran 23:97-98)

No matter how hard Satan hits, Allah's got our back!

4. Been Duped? Undupe!

People aren't perfect: we will make mistakes. Satan dupes us by making us think that minor sins aren't important. So we might think, "What's the big deal if I tell a 'white lie'?" The fact is, lies are lies and sins are sins, and as the Prophet said, even minor sins, "if a person is called to account for them, will destroy him." [Ahmad]

So how do we repent for what we do wrong, whether minor or major?

Recognize what's wrong and stop doing it right away.
Hate the action and regret that we ever did it.
Be determined never to do the action again.
If someone's rights were violated by the action we should seek their forgiveness and set things right.

While we may end up falling into the same trap again, we can always repent and get back on the straight path. Only those people who give up and continue to follow Satan are duped and truly losers.

5. Mission Not Impossible

With tough talk like, "then will I assault them from before them and behind them, from their right and their left" (Quran 7:17), Satan can seem intimidating. But we know from the Quran, on the Day of Judgment Satan will back down and double-cross those he duped:

"It was Allah Who gave you a promise of Truth: I too promised, but I failed in my promise to you. I had no authority over you except to call you but you listened to me: then reproach not me, but reproach your own souls." (Quran 14:22)

Even now, while Satan thinks he's all that, we can and have beat him. Just look at what the Prophet said to Umar Al-Khattab!

"Never does Satan find you going on a way, but he takes another way other than yours." [Bukhari and Muslim]

With these 5 points in heart and mind, we've stacked our defense:

It's time to take the offense!

The Offense - Stay on track and fight the attack!

1. The Best Offense is a Good Defense
We can never pray enough for Allah's help; the five daily prayers, a night of bonding in voluntary prayers or simply ask Allah for protection from Satan and dupedom.

2. Get the Guide
Read, understand, absorb and live the Quran. It guides us with examples of how people in the past dealt with Satan, it consoles us in our struggle and it lights hope with the promise of paradise. [See, Quran: Your Gateway to a New World]

3. Follow the Leader
While Satan strives to lead us astray, we should remember the example of the Prophet who was sent to guide us to the right way. If we practice like the Prophet, we too can defeat dupedom!

4. Get Stacked
Don't bear the brunt of the battle alone; you need the help of your friends. As the Prophet Muhammad said, "A person is likely to follow the faith of his friend, so look (carefully) whom you choose to befriend." [Ahmad] A group of dummies are destined to be duped so find friends that feel the way you do about faith. [Check out Cool or Fool]

5. Never Stop
Satan is relentless. He won't stop until he has us on a one-way trip to hell. We need to be just as persistent in the resistance, always purifying our hearts and filling our minds with the remembrance of Allah.

Our Lord! We have wronged ourselves: If You don't forgive us and bestow Your mercy upon us, we will certainly be lost.

O Allah, O Sufficer of the isolated and weak and Protector against terrifying affairs! Offenses have isolated me, so there is none to be my companion. I am too weak for Thy wrath and there is none to strengthen me. I have approached the terror of meeting Thee and there is none to still my fear. I beg for Your Mercy! Ameen
Push On Dua!

The Shipwreck

The only survivor of a shipwreck was washed up on a
small, uninhabited island ....

He prayed feverishly for Allah to rescue him,and every
day he scanned the horizon for help, but none seemed

Exhausted, he eventually managed to build a little hut
out of driftwood to protect him from the elements and
to store his few possessions.

But then one day, after scavenging for food,he arrived
home to find his little hut in flames, the smoke
rolling up to the sky. The worst had
happened;everything was lost. He was stunned with
grief and anger.

"Allah, how could you do this to me!" he cried.
(Comment; Plenty of people use such statement ---
think again you should never qestion Allah nor object
to his willing)

Early the next day, however, he was awakened by the
sound of a ship that was approaching the island. It
had come to rescue him.

"How did you know I was here?" asked the weary man of
his rescuers. "We saw your smoke signal," they

It is easy to get discouraged when things are going
But we shouldn't lose heart, because Allah is at work
in our lives, even in the midst of pain and suffering.

Remember, next time your little hut is burning to the
ground--it just may be a smoke signal that summons The
Grace of Allah.

Pass this on. You never know who may be in need of
this today.

To Allah

Sitting alone on a windswept mountain,
The thoughts that come to me are wordless
Filling me with nothing but gladness
For, as long as You remember me,
I am not truly alone.
In my darkest hour,
Tinged with fragile bitterness,
I find You in Your infinite Grace and Mercy -
A part of You in the center of my whirlwind soul
And I find the path again.

This is the way I must go -
The road that Sufis take home -
Empty of the extra things that serve
To trample the heart and imprison the mind.
Will I ever truly know that wealth is nothing
And fashion is but fickleness
Of the world below?

Not til now did I discover
That everything is You, the rain and night...
So I keep them close to me
To have a reason, a light.
I want to have the inspiration
In that call to prayer,
A lonely voice calling without
Pretense of airs -
"God is great, God is great..."

If only I had ninety-nine mountains
To carve Your Names upon
And if only I had the voice to call with...

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

The Status Of Two Who Love One Another For The Sake Of Allah

by Dr. Muhammad Ali Al-Hashimi

Many hadith describe the status of two people who love one another for the sake of Allah, and describe the high position in Paradise which He has promised them and the great honour which He will bestow upon them on the Day when mankind is resurrected to meet the Rabb (Lord) of the Worlds: Among them is the hadith which describes the seven whom Allah will shade on the Day when there is no shade but His:

1, a just leader;

2, a youth who grows up worshipping Allah;

3, a person who is deeply attached to the masjid;

4, two people who love one another for the sake of Allah, meeting for His sake and parting for His sake;

5, a man who is called by a beautiful woman and says, I fear Allah;

6, a person who gives charity in secret such that their left hand does not know what their right hand is doing;

7, a person who remembers Allah when they are alone and their eyes fill with tears." (Bukhari and Muslim)

The two who love one another for the sake of Allah are clearly shown to be among those whom Allah will shelter with His shade and upon whom He will shower His mercy and kindness. What a great honour! It is enough honour for those who love one another for the sake of Allah (Subhanahu wa Ta`ala) that their Almighty Rabb will greet them on the Day of Resurrection and say to them:

"Where are those who loved one another for My glory? Today I will shade them in My shade on the Day when there is no shade but Mine." (Muslim)

Such is the magnificent honour and tremendous reward that will be bestowed upon those who truly loved one another for the sake of Allah (subhanahu wa ta`ala), on that awesome Day.

Love for the sake of Allah, and not for the sake of anything else in this life which is filled with greed, desires and interests, is very difficult, and none can attain it except the one who is pure of heart, for whom this world is as nothing compared to the pleasure of Allah. It is not surprising that Allah should give them a status and blessing which is commensurate with their position in this world, above whose concerns they have risen. We find proof of this in the hadith of Mu'adh who said that the Prophet (sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam) said:

"Allah said: 'Those who love one another for My glory, will have minbars of light, and the Prophets and martyrs will wish that they had the same." [Reported by al-Tirmidhi, who said it is a hasan sahih hadith]

Allah gives to those who love one another for His sake a gift which is even greater than this status and blessing: that is His precious love which is very difficult to attain. This is proven by the hadith of Abu Hurayrah (radhiallahu `anhu) in which the Prophet (sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam) said:

"A man went to visit a brother of his in another village. Allah sent an angel to wait for him on the road. When the man came along, the angel asked him, 'Where do you intend to go?' He said, 'I am going to visit a brother of mine who lives in this village.' The angel asked, 'Have you done him any favour (for which you are now seeking repayment)?' He said, 'No. I just love him for the sake of Allah.' The angel told him, I am a messenger to you from Allah, sent to tell you that He loves you as you love your brother for His sake."' (Muslim)

What a great love, that raises a man to a position where Allah loves him and is pleased with him!

The teaching of the Prophet (sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam) states that the better of two people who love one another for the sake of Allah is the one who loves the other more. The Prophet (sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam) said:

"No two people love one another, but the better of them is the one whose love the other more." [Reported by Bukhari in al-Adab al-Mufrad]

Islam goes even further in spreading love in the rightly guided Muslim society by telling the Muslim that if he loves his brother, he should tell him. The Prophet (sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam) said:

"If a man loves his brother, let him tell him that he loves him." [Reported by Abu Dawud and al-Tirmidhi, who said it is a sahih hadith]

The Prophet (sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam) understood the impact of this strong, pure love in building societies and nations, so he never let any occasion pass without advocating this love and commanding the Muslims to announce their love for one another, in order to open hearts and spread love and purity among the ranks of the Ummah.

Anas (radhiallahu `anhu) said that a man was with the Prophet (sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam), when another man passed by. The first man said, "O Messenger of Allah, indeed I truly love this man." The Prophet (sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam) asked him, "Have you let him know that?" He said, "No." The Prophet (sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam) said, "Tell him." He caught up with him and told him, "Truly I love you for the sake of Allah," and the man said, "May Allah love you who loves me for His sake." [Reported by Abu Dawud, with a sahih isnad]

Mu'adh(radhiallahu `anhu) began to spread this pure love among the Muslims throughout the Muslim lands, telling them what he had heard from the Prophet (sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam) about the great reward that Allah had prepared for those who loved one another for His sake, and about His great love for them. In al-Muwatta', Imam Malik(rahmatullahi alaiyh) gives a report with a sahih isnad from Abu Idris al-Khulani who said:

"I entered the masjid of Damascus, where I saw a young man who had a bright smile, and I saw the people gathered around him. When they disagreed on some matter, they referred it to him, and accepted his opinion. I asked who he was, and they told me, 'This is Mu'adh ibn Jabal (radhiallahu `anhu)." Early the next day, I went to the mosque but I found that he had arrived even earlier than I. He was praying, so I waited until he had finished, then I approached him from in front, greeted him and said, 'By Allah I love you.' He said, 'For the sake of Allah?' I said, 'For the sake of Allah'. He repeated his question, 'For the sake of Allah?' and I said, 'For the sake of Allah.' So he took hold of my collar and pulled me towards him and said, 'I have good news for you. I heard the Prophet (sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam) say: "Allah Almighty says: 'My love is granted to those who love one another for My sake, who visit one another for My sake, and who spend on one another for My sake.'"'

Tips for a Better Husband and Wife Relationship

Although many Muslims may right now be in failing marriages and on a fast track to divorce and its terrible consequences, there are many ways to put their marriage back on the right track if the husband and wife are sincere in their desire to reconcile. The following principles can be used by Muslims whose marriages are already in trouble or by Muslims who would like to avoid trouble in their marriage.

Examples of Negative Relationship of Husband & Wife

Many Muslim husbands and wives treat each other like adversaries rather than partners. The husband feels that he is the boss, and whatever he says goes. The wife feels that she must squeeze everything she can out of her husband. Some wives never show their husband that they are satisfied with anything he does or buys for them in order to trick him into doing and buying more. They make him feel like a failure if he does not give them the lifestyle that their friends and families enjoy. Some husbands speak very harshly to their wives, humiliate them, and even physically abuse them. Their wives have no voice or opinion in the family.

Marriage In The Eyes of Allah

It is very sad that this relationship which Allah (SWT) has established for the good has been made a source of contention, deception, trickery, tyranny, humiliation, and abuse. This is not the way marriage is supposed to be.

Allah (SWT) described marriage very differently in the Holy Quran: '. . . He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquillity with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts) . . . " (Holy Quran 30:21, Yusuf Ali Translation).

Do not be a Tyrant

Regardless of whether or not Islam has made the husband the head of the household, Muslims are not supposed to be dictators and tyrants. We are taught to treat our wives well. The Prophet Muhammad (SAWS) was reported to have said: 'The most perfect Muslim in the matter of faith is one who has excellent behavior; and the best among you are those who behave best towards their wives" (From Mishkat al-Masabih, No. 0278(R) Transmitted by Tirmidhi).

Be Partners in the Decision Making Process.

Follow the principle of 'Shura," and make decisions as a family. There will be much more harmony in the family when decisions are not imposed and everyone feels that they had some part in making them.

Never be Emotionally

Never be emotionally, mentally, or physically abusive to your spouse. The Prophet (SAWS) never mistreated his wives. He is reported to have said: 'How could they beat their women in daytime as slaves and then sleep with them in the night?"

Be Careful of Your Words

Be very careful what you say when you are upset. Sometimes you will say things that you would never say when you were not angry. If you are angry, wait until you calm down before continuing the conversation.

Show Affection

Show affection for your mate. Be kind, gentle, and loving.

Be Your Spouse's Friend

Show interest in your mate's life. Too often, we live in the same house but know nothing about each other's lives. It would be great if the husband and wife could work together for the same cause or on the same project. They could perhaps establish a husband/wife prison ministry, take care of orphans in their home, or lead an Islamic weekend class.

Show Appreciation

Show appreciation for what your spouse does for the family. Never make your husband feel that he is not doing good enough for the family or that you are not satisfied with his work or his efforts, unless, of course, he is truly lazy and not even trying to provide for the family. The Prophet (SAWS) was reported to have said: 'On the Day of Judgment, God will not look upon the woman who has been ungrateful to her husband." (where is this hadith found) Show your wife that you appreciate her. If she takes care of the house and the children, don't take it for granted. It is hard work, and no one likes to feel unappreciated.

Work Together in the House

The Prophet (SAWS) is known to have helped his wives in the house. And if the Prophet (SAWS) was not above doing housework, modern Muslim husbands shouldn't feel that they are.

Communication is Important

Communication, Communication, Communication! This is the big word in counseling. And it should be. Husbands and wives need to talk to each other. It is better to deal with problems early and honestly than to let them pile up until an explosion occurs.

Forget Past Problems

Don't bring up past problems once they have been solved.

Live Simply

Don't be jealous of those who seem to be living a more luxurious life than your family. The 'rizq" is from Allah (SWT). In order to develop the quality of contentment, look at those people who have less than you, not those who have more. Thank Allah (SWT) for the many blessings in your life.

Give Your Spouse Time Alone

If your mate doesn't want to be with you all the time, it doesn't mean he or she doesn't love you. People need to be alone for various reasons. Sometimes they want to read, to think about their problems, or just to relax. Don't make them feel that they are committing a sin.

Admit Your Mistakes

When you make a mistake, admit it. When your mate makes a mistake, excuse him or her easily. If possible, never go to sleep angry with each other.

Physical Relationship is Important

Be available to your mate sexually, and don't let your sexual relationship be characterized by selfishness. The Prophet (SAWS) was reported to have said: 'It is not appropriate that you fall upon your wives like a beast but you must send a message of love beforehand."

Have Meals Together

Try to eat together as a family when possible. Show the cook and the dishwasher, whether it is the husband or the wife, appreciation for his or her efforts. The Prophet (SAWS) did not complain about food that was put before him.

Be Mindful of Your discussion Topics

Never discuss with others things about your marriage that your spouse wouldn't like you to discuss, unless there is an Islamic reason to do so. Some husbands and wives, believe it or not, complain to others about their mate's physical appearance. This is a recipe for disaster. Information about your intimate relations should be kept between you and your spouse.

Many of us treat our spouses in ways that we would never treat others. With others, we try to be polite, kind, and patient. With our spouses, we often do not show these courtesies. Of course, we are usually with our spouses at our worst times --- when we are tired and frustrated after a hard day. After a bad day at the office, husbands usually come home angry and on edge. The wife has probably also had a hard day with the children and the housework. Wives and husbands should discuss this potential time bomb so that if they are short-tempered with each other during these times, they will understand the reasons rather than automatically thinking that their spouse no longer loves them.

Good marriages require patience, kindness, humility, sacrifice, empathy, love, understanding, forgiveness, and hard work. Following these principles should help any marriage to improve. The essence of them all can be summed up in one sentence: Always treat your spouse the way you would like to be treated. If you follow this rule, your marriage will have a much greater chance for success. If you discard this rule, failure is just around the corner


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