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Sunday, January 09, 2005

Tips for a Happier Muslim Marriage - Final

Following are some rules that may benefit those seeking an Islamic marriage, as well as, those who are already married.
"The most perfect of the believers in faith is the best of them in moral excellence, and the best of you are the kindest of you to their wives" (at-Tirmidhi).
8. Surprise each other with gifts. Treat her to an evening out alone, away from the children. There are no words to describe the lift this can give to a marriage.
9. Communicate your feelings to one another, good and bad. Tell him how handsome he looks. Where there is disagreement, have an open discussion. Don't collect red stamps. Nip it in the bud .
10. Live within your means. Stay away from credit cards if you can. Sisters, take note. Don't envy the possessions of your friends, and belittle your husband because he can't provide them for you. Muslim couples will do well to stay away from ostentatious living. The Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam did not live this way, neither should you.
11. Respect your spouse's need for privacy. A quiet time to oneself, either at home or away from home, each day can make a disagreeable person agreeable.
12. Don 't share personal problems with others. There are a few exceptions to this rule, but if you must discuss personal problems, make sure it is with a person in whom you have the utmost confidence. If you have a learned Muslim brother or sister in your community, seek him or her out first.
13. Be sensitive to your spouse's moods. If you want to share a personal achievement, don't do it when your spouse is 'down in the dumps ' . Wait for the proper time.
You may be saying to yourself, "This is easier said than done." Well, you're right. A successful marriage doesn't just happen. It's not simply a matter of luck or finding the right person. It takes hard work and determination. It means being selfless and making mistakes. It means having vengeance on your mind but forgiveness in your heart. But, then, its perfection is "half of faith".
"Our Lord! Grant unto us wives and offspring who will be the comfort of our eyes, and give us (the grace) to lead righteous." [Surah Al-Furqan Verse 74]
The whole world is an asset and the best asset is a good spouse.
Adapted from the original article "Tips for a Happier Muslim Marriage" by Muntaqima Abdur-Rashid

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