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Friday, January 07, 2005

Tips for a Happier Muslim Marriage - Part 1

Following are some rules that may benefit those seeking an Islamic marriage, as well as, those who are already married.1. Be conscious of your physical appearance. No one was more conscious of this than the Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam. His Sunnah reflects keen attention to personal hygiene and good grooming. He kept himself strong and muscular. Most likely the first aspect of you that attracted your spouse was your appearance, so don't think that simply because you are married the task is over. You can't hide a weight problem under Thawbs' (dress) and long Khimars' (veils). Your spouse knows. Be aware that you live in a society that places a high premium on physical appearance. It flaunts the shapely female and her muscular counterpart. Temptations that beckon non-Muslims beckon Muslims as well. Don 't allow your spouse to get side-tracked by the likes of film stars. Jog, join a gym, roller skate, swim and stay in shape (within the confines of Shari'ah). Insha'Allah, you will be more vibrant, more radiant, and more attractive to your spouse.2. Be a companion to your spouse. Try to show enthusiasm for your spouse's interests and hobbies. It is well-known that the Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam would run races with 'Aisha R.A. By all means try to involve your spouse in your interests.3. Be active in Islamic community life. This will strengthen your commitment to Islam while providing you with a wholesome social outlet. .4. Admit to your mistakes and have a forgiving, generous attitude when your spouse errs. Most Muslims fall short of the Islamic ideal. Contradictions abound. Be quick to admit your shortcomings and work to amend them. Be understanding when your spouse does not live up to the Islamic ideal and gently try to motivate him or her in the right direction.5. Have a sense of humor. Be able to chuckle at life's minor aggravations.6. Be modest when around members of the opposite sex. Do not try to test your spouse's affection by feigning interest in another. This will only cause dissension and bad feelings.7. Share household duties. Brothers, take note. This is especially important these days when women work outside the home. The Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam always helped his wives around the house and even mended his own clothes. Who knows? You might find you actually like preparing the evening meal or taking care of the child/children so your wife can have theafternoon off. The Messenger of Allah Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam said, "The most perfect of the believers in faith is the best of them in moral excellence, and the best of you are the kindest of you to their wives" (at-Tirmidhi).

To be continued
Adapted from the original article "Tips for a Happier Muslim Marriage" by Muntaqima Abdur-Rashid

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