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Saturday, March 11, 2006

Could we be upsetting our fellow Muslims?

When Three People Are Together, Two Should Not Speak Secretly To The Exclusion Of The Third.
In doing that, the two that are speaking privately are, either knowingly or unknowingly, causing sadness to enter the heart of the third among them. Ever eager to bring sadness to the heart of a Muslim, Shaitaan (devil) will whisper to him and instill doubts into his hearts, so that he will become suspicious of the other two, feeling that if they are into plotting against him, they are at the very least backbiting him or excluding him, not considering his worthy enough to share their secret. To prevent the Shaitaan from instilling such doubts in a Muslim, the Prophet (saas) said,
"Two people must not speak secretly to the exclusion of the third (among them), for that will make him sad." 1
But if you are in a gathering of four people, the reason for the prohibition is absent, and so two of you may speak in private, if necessary, to the exclusion of the other two that are present. The Prophet (saas) said,
" If you are three, then let not two men (among you) speak to the exclusion of the other, at least not until you mix with people (until you are more than three), so that you do not make him sad." 2
'Abdullah Ibn Deenaar gave an account of how ibn 'Umar (ra - may Allah be pleased with him) applied this Hadeeth (sayings/doings of the Prophet Mohammed peace be upon him). He said, "I was with 'Abdullah Ibn ' Umar (ra) at the home of Khaalid Ibn 'Uqbah, which was beside the marketplace. A man then came who wanted to speak to him in private, and at the time, only I and the person that wanted to speak to him were with 'Abdullah (ra) ' Abdullah invited a fourth man to join us, and when we became four, ' Abdullah asked the man he had just invited and me to move back a little, saying ' Verily, I heard the Messenger of Allah (saas) say:
"Two people should not speak secretly to the exclusion of one (i.e, of the third among them if they are three).''' 3
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1 ) Related by Bukhaaree (6288) and At- Tirmidhee (2725) Ahmad (4550), Abu Daawood (4851)
2) Related by Bukhaaree (6290), Muslim (2184), Ahmad (3550)
3) Maalik related it in his Muwatta (1856), and Ahmad related it in truncated form in his Musnad (5477).

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