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Monday, January 16, 2006

ANGER MANAGEMENT

by Asma bint Shameem

Anger by itself is not unnatural. However, if one gets angry for
reasons other than for the sake of Allaah, it can lead to problems. The
Prophet (pbuh) described cures for this "disease" and ways to limit its
effects, among which are the following:

(1) ) Seek refuge with Allaah from the Shaytaan: “And if an evil
whisper comes to you from Shaytaan (Satan), then seek refuge with Allaah”
[al-A’raaf 7:200] Sulayman ibn Sard said: "I was sitting with the Prophet
(pbuh), and two men were slandering one another. One of them was red in
the face, and the veins on his neck were standing out. The Prophet
(pbuh) said, ‘I know a word which, if he were to say it, what he feels
would go away. If he said

ÃÚæÐ ÈÇááå ãä ÇáÔíØÇä

"I seek refuge with Allaah from the Shaytaan," what he feels (i.e., his
anger) would go away.’" (Bukhaari)

(2) Keep Quiet: The Prophet (pbuh) said: "If any of you becomes angry,
let him keep silent." (Ahmad). The angry person may lose self control
and utter words of Kufr, curses, the word of divorce talaaq),etc. So
keeping quite would avoid all that.

(3)Make Wudu: The Prophet (pbuh) said: Anger is from the Shaytaan and
the Shaytaan is made from fire. Nothing can put out the fire except
water, so when any of you gets angry, he should make Wudu.(Ahmad, Abu
Dawood)

(4) Get out of the situation you are in: The Prophet(pbuh) said: "If
any of you becomes angry and he is standing, let him sit down, so his
anger will go away; if it does not go away, let him lie down."(Ahmad).
Sitting down makes it less likely that he will become overexcited, and
lying down makes it even less likely that he will do something crazy or
harmful.

(5) Remember the advice of the Prophet (pbuh): A man said to the
Prophet (pbuh), "Advise me." He said, "Do not become angry." The man repeated
his request several times, and each time the Prophet (pbuh) told him,
"Do not become angry." (Bukhaari)

(6) Remember the rewards of controlling your anger: The Prophet pbuh)
said, "Do not become angry and Paradise will be yours."
(Tabaraani-Saheeh) And he (pbuh) said, "Whoever controls his anger at the time when he
has the means to act upon it, Allaah will fill his heart with
contentment on the Day of Resurrection."(Tabarani)

(7) Remember the reward for forgiving others: The Prophet (pbuh)said:
“Allaah will not increase a person who forgives others except in honor.”
(Muslim).

(8) Know the high status and advantages offered to those who control
themselves: The Prophet (pbuh) said: "The strong man is not the one who
can overpower others (in wrestling); rather, the strong man is the one
who controls himself when he gets angry." (Ahmad). The greater the
anger, the higher the status of the one who controls himself.

(9) Know that resisting anger is one of the signs of righteousness
taqwaa): One of the characteristics of the ones Allaah loves is that they….
"spend (in Allaah’s Cause) in prosperity and in adversity, they]
repress anger, and [they] pardon men; verily, Allaah loves al-muhsinoon (the
good-doers)." [Aal ‘Imraan 3:134] ". . . when they are angry, they
forgive." [al-Shooraa 42:47]

(10) Listen to reminders: A person may get angry, but the true mo’min
is the one, when reminded, will remember Allaah and suppress his anger.
Ibn ‘Abbaas reported that a man said: "O son of al-Khattaab, you are
not giving us much and you are not judging fairly between us." ‘Umar was
so angry that he was about to attack the man, but al-Hurr ibn Qays, who
was one of those present, said: "O Ameer al-Mu’mineen, Allaah said to
His Prophet (pbuh) ‘Show forgiveness, enjoin what is good, and turn away
from the foolish’ [al-A’raaf 7:199]. This man is one of the foolish."
By Allaah, ‘Umar could go no further after al-Hurr had recited this
aayah to him, and he was a man who was careful to adhere to the Book of
Allaah. (Bukhaari).

(11) Remember the bad effects of anger: Anger leads to regret and the
need to apologize. The angry person may go out of control; he could
strike out and injure someone, destroy possessions or even kill. He could
utter divorce to his wife in a fit of rage and then regret it for the
rest of his life.

(12) Du’aa’: One of the du’aa’s of the Prophet (pbuh) was:
Çááåã ÈÚáãß ÇáÛíÈ æÞÏÑÊß Úáì ÇáÎáÞ ÃÍíäí ãÇ ÚáãÊ ÇáÍíÇÉ ÎíÑÇð áí ¡
æÊæÝäí ÅÐÇ ÚáãÊ ÇáæÝÇÉ ÎíÑÇð áí ¡ Çááåã æÃÓÃáß ÎÔíÊß Ýí ÇáÛíÈ æÇáÔåÇÏÉ ¡
æÃÓÃáß ßáãÉ ÇáÅÎáÇÕ Ýí ÇáÑÖÇ æÇáÛÖÈ ¡ æÃÓÃáß ÇáÞÕÏ Ýí ÇáÝÞÑ æÇáÛäì æÃÓÃáß
äÚíãÇð áÇ íäÝÏ ¡ æÞÑÉ Úíä áÇ ÊäÞØÚ ¡ æÃÓÃáß ÇáÑÖÇ ÈÚÏ ÇáÞÖÇÁ ¡ æÃÓÃáß
ÈÑÏ ÇáÚíÔ ÈÚÏ ÇáãæÊ ¡ ÃÓÃáß áÐÉ ÇáäÙÑ Åáì æÌåß æÇáÔæÞ Åáì áÞÇÆß ¡ Ýí ÛíÑ
ÖÑÇÁ ãÖÑø É æáÇ ÝÊäÉ ãÖáøÉ Çááå ÒíäÇ ÈÒíäÉ ÇáÅíãÇä æÇÌÚáäÇ åÏÇÉ ãåÊÏíä
.
æÇáÍãÏ ááå ÑÈ ÇáÚÇáãíä .

"O Allaah, by Your knowledge of the Unseen and Your power over Your
creation, keep me alive for as long as You know life is good for me, and
cause me to die when You know death is good for me. O Allaah, I ask You
to make me fear You in secret and in public, and I ask You to make me
speak the truth in times of contentment and of anger. I ask You not to
let me be extravagant in poverty or in prosperity. I ask You for
continuous blessings, and for contentment that does not end. I ask You to let
me accept Your decree, and for a good life after death. I ask You for
the joy of seeing Your face and for the longing to meet You, without
going through diseases and misguiding fitnah (trials). O Allaah, adorn us
with the adornment of faith and make us among those who are guided.
Praise be to Allaah, the Lord of the Worlds."

Then which of the favours of your Lord will you deny?(13: Sura e
Rehman)

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