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Saturday, March 03, 2007

A sisters dilemma: Should she propose or not?

The first time u saw him was at a talk
And u watched him as he walked
With his mates to his car
You and he seemed far away
As u drove home the opposite way

You thought about him
The rest of the week
And felt weak
Unable to breath

The second time was near the masjid
He was coming out
And u were going in
Your eyes met
And u looked away
But felt his eyes on u
Taking a long appreciative look

Since then
Your paths have crossed often
An uneasy feeling
You can’t quite imagine
Him proposing and kneeling

He’s so knowledgeable
And beautiful
In demand
While your Ms Average
In education and looks
Although u can knit and cook
He can’t be interested in you

The sisters who are Alimah’s
Give talks and have a high profile
Get all the attention
While those like u
Are ignored

You told your- friends
And they smiled and laughed
It must be love
Nice to know that
Even the pious have these feelings
We get them regularly

What to do
You didn’t know
Felt lost and confused
Friends were bemused
They said it’s easy

If u like him
Feel this way about him
Based on his Islamic personality
And other good qualities
Then instead of waiting
Contemplating
For him to notice
Why don’t u take the lead
And propose to him
Via your Wali?

The advice shocks u
Throws u into more despair
And your inner fears surface
What if he rejects u?
The shame and embarrassment
Being talked about

Then it dawns
Like a flash of lightening
This is what brothers go through
Before and after proposing
And u understand that it cuts both ways

It’s better to compromise
Find middle ground
Propose and be proposed to
As the situation demands
Instead of expecting
Waiting
Anticipating
Brothers to do all the work
Because of the pressure
by your own culture
east and West

Hard to Confess
But there it is
Truth stands clear from falsehood

Author: Showkotali@hotmail.com with help from Mahbuba

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