For muslims youth growing up in the western society it can be difficult to remain strong and avoid being led astray by the temptation that the society bombards them with. The temptation are of various types, includes drugs, alcohol, crime and clubbing. However one of the main areas of temptations is undoubtedly the haram relationship between man and woman.
For everyone who lives in the west it is obvious that the society promotes free mixing and illicit relationships between the sexes. Sex is promoted everywhere, from billboards, advertising commercial, magazines and songs to television programmes. It is no wonder that the estimates of how many times people think about the subject are so high.
Through primary, secondary education and beyond, boyfriend-girlfriend relationships are normalised to the extent that it is seem strange if someone isn't going out with the opposite sex. Sex Education in school promotes this my explainingto the students the virious form of comtraception instead of giving threm the correct values related to the subject.
Walking through the centre of any major city on a Friday night makes one realise that western society has become similar to a herd of wild animals that cant control their desires. The West promotes notions of finding true love or following your heart; in reality what people in western society follow is their lust. The stark reality of single parent mothers left by their partners to fend for themselves and high rate of adulterous relationships is evidence for this.
A Muslim living in this type of enviroment needs to make sure he or she has a strong link age with Islamic belief and the Islamic Shariah..
Realising the magnitude of the haram actions
A muslim must link his actions directly to the consequences: the reward and the punishments in the hereafter. He should visualise these even when thinking about any prohibiting actions. This consciousness of Allah Azwajal and the hereafter should be a shield to protect us from sin and should encourage us to earn reward.
The Holy Prophet (salallahu alaihi wasallam) has warned both men and woman of the consequences of their actions.
Abu Hurairah reported that the messenger of Allah (salallahu alaihi wasallam) said, when a person commits fornication there goes out of him is Iman(belief) and it hovers like a canopy over his head and when he quits this act the Iman reverts to him again. [Tirmidhi & Abu Dawud].
Skakl ibn Humayd went to the Prophet (salallahu alaihi wasallam) and said, Apostle of Allah, teach me a supplication (du'a). He (salallahu alaihi wasallam) replied, says: O Allah! I seek refuge in you from the evil of what i hear, from the evil of what I see, from the evil of what I speak, from the evil of what I think, and from the evil of my semen"(Abu dawud].
Ubadah ibn as-Samit narrated that the Prophet (salallahu alaihi wasallam) said, "If you guarantee me six things on your part I shall guarantee you Paradise. Speak the truth when u talk, keep a promise when you make it, when you are trusted with something fulfil your trust, and avoid sexual immorality, lower your eyes and restrain your hands from injustice."[Ahmed and Baihaqi and Shu'ab al-Iman transmitted it].
In western societies it is common for a men to look at women who they are not even married to with lust. Isman has forbidden this.
The Holy Prophet (Salallahu Alaihi Wasallam) said, "The adultery of the eyes is the sight, the adultery of the tongue is the talk, and the inner self wishes, desires and the private part testify all this or deny it"[Bukhari].
Allah Azwajal said, "Tell the believing men to lower their gazes and to protect their private parts. That is better for them, Allah knows the details of what they do. And tell the believing woman to lower their gazes and to protect their private parts"[TMQ An-Nur:30-31]
Unlike in the west where it is abnormal for the woman to step out of their homes without layers of make-up, lipstick and wearing revealing clothes, Islam forbade this for it impact society is devastating in speading immorality.
It has been narrated by Abu Musa al-Ashari that the messenger of Allah (Salallahu Alaihi Wasallam) said,
A woman that uses purfume and walks past men in order for them to smell her fragrance; shes is a fornicator[Tirmidhi & Abu Dawud].
He (Salallahu Alaihi Wasallam) also said:
Two categories of people I have not seen them(yet): some people who hold whips like the tails of the cows by which they lash to people. And woman who wear (clothes) but (are) half-naked, bending (their bodies) and bending the sight of the men to them. Their heads are like the tilted humps of the camels. These woman will not enter Paradise nor will they experience its smell (odour), through its odour is felt at a distance of so an so (days)[muslim].
The Shariah prevent Khulwa (seclusion) between men and women. The reality of Khulwa is that it makes the man and woman more sexually agitated. By Prohibiting this Solitary privacy a cause of corruption is eliminated, because the Khulwa is one of the direct means of corruption.
Jabir ibn Abdullah narrated that the Messenger of Allah (Salallahu Alaihi Wasallam) said, Whosoever believes in Allah and the Last Day (Al-Yawm al-Akhir) let him not be alone with a woman who has not a Mahram (male relative who she cannot marry) with her. Indeed, the third (person) is al-Shaytan! [Ahmed]
Avoiding unnecessary agitation
It is important to stay away from watching movies, TV programmes, listening to music and reading Magazines that encourage fornication and actions that lead to it, as these are haram according shariah principle, The means to haram is itself haram. These activites build corrupt inclinations within people to the extent that woman is seen as an object rather than a person whose honour must be maintained. How can our feelings be more attached to corrupt films an TV programmes than the Quran, which is the source of guidance for the whole mankind. Don't people feel ahamed while watching sex scenes or listen to loud songs while Allah Azwajal the Creator of the whole universe is watching them? On the Day of Judgement even the limbs of our bodys will bear testimony to the actions we performed.
Allah Azwajal says, The Day shall We set a seal on their mouths. But their hands will speak to Us and their feet bear witness to all that they did [TMQ Ya-Sin:65]
Staying in the correct atmosphere
Maintaining a correct atmosphere is vital for a Muslim to be able to avoid the temptations. The type of atmosphere that exists amongst some of the youth is very corrupt, where the topic of discussion revolves around the opposite sex and showing off to each other. This type of atmosphere only serves to agitate the instincts of people and potentially leads them futher away from Islam.
Abu Musa (Radi Allahu Anhu) narrated that the Prophet (Salallahu Alaihi Wasallam) said,
"The example of a good companion in comparison with a bad one, is like of the musk seller and the blacksmith's bellows (or furnace); from the first you would either buy musk or enjoy its good smell while the bellows would either burn your clothes or your house, or you get a bad nasty smell thereof" (Bukhari)
Marriage
An obvious solution that aids in avoiding temptation from the opposite sex is to marry according to Islam. Islam doesn't deny the natural instincts of human beings; rather it channels them according to the rules revealed by Allah Azwajal. It is encouraged to marry in Islam, and encouragement is given to those who are unable.
The Prophet (Salallahu Alaihi Wasallam) said,
Oh you who are young. Whoever amongst you can afford to marry should marry, because it will help him refrain from looking at other women, and guard his modesty (i.e private part from unlawful sex). And whoever is not able to marry he should fast because it will protect him [Muslim]
The recommendation to fast is not to suppress the procreation instinct but to build a reminder as to man's objective in life which is to worship Allah Azwajal.
Abu Hurairah (Radi Allahu anhu) narrates the Prophet (Salallahu Alaihi Wasallam) said, "Three (persons) have a right from Allah Azwajal to be helped: the Mujahid in the way of Allah, the seeker for marriage who wishes to guard his Chastity and the slave who seeks funds to free oneself."
Allah Azwajal says, "And let those who find no the financial means for marriage keep themselves chaste, until Allah enriches them with His bounty" An-Nur:33
Marriage is based on companionship in Islam, unlike in Western Society where it is based on competition. Companionship is where one finds repose and tranquillity in the other - Allah Azwajal has made Marriage a source of tranquillity for both spouses. Allah Azwajal said:
"It is He who has created you from a single person, and He has created from him his wife, in order that he mightenjoy the pleasure of living with her"(Al-Araf:189)
"And among His Signs is this, that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find repose in them, and He has put between both of you affection and Mercy" [Al-Rum:21]
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