Islamic Humour

Once, the people of a city invited Nasruddin Hodja to deliver a khutba (sermon). When he got on the minbar (pulpit), he found the audience was not very enthusiastic, so he asked "Do you know what I am going to say?" The audience replied "NO", so he announced "I have no desire to speak to people who don't even know what I will be talking about" and he left.
The people felt embarrassed and called him back again the next week. This time when he asked the same question, the people replied "YES" So Hodja Nasruddin said, "Well, since you already know what I am going to say, I won't waste any more of your time" and he left.

Now the people were really perplexed. They decided to try one more time and once again invited the Hodja to speak the following week. Once again he asked the same question - "Do you know what I am going to say?" Now the people were prepared and so half of them answered "YES" while the other half replied "NO".

So Nasruddin Hodja said "So let the half who know what I am going to say tell it to the other half" and he left!



One day, one of Nasruddin's Hodja friend came over and wanted to borrow his donkey for a day or two. Hodja, knowing his friend, was not kindly inclined to the request, and came up with the excuse that someone had already borrowed his donkey.
Just as Hodja uttered these words, his donkey started braying in his backyard. Hearing the sound, his friend gave him an accusing look, to which Hodja replied: "I refuse to have any further dealings with you since you take a donkey's word over mine."



One day a fellow went into town to purchase a horse.
"I can see you are a religious fellow," the horse saleman told him. This fine specimen here is the horse for you. It's an Islamic horse."

"Oh, and what makes this particular horse Islamic?" asked the buyer, feeling a little sceptical.

"Well, when you say, 'Al hamdu lillah' (praise be to God), it goes; and when you say, 'La ilaha illallah wa Muhammad rasulullah' (there is no god but God and Muhammad is His prophet), it stops. What could be easier?"

"Hmm. I guess I'll take it." He paid the salesman, jumped on the horse, and said "Al hamdu lillah," and off the horse went, like a bullet, the new owner hanging on for dear life.

Over hill and dale the horse sped, while the befuddled owner tried to remember what to say to make it stop. He tried every religious phrase he could think of, but he couldn't remember the right one. Finally, the horse neared the edge of a cliff, and showed no sign of slowing down. Seeing he was about to die, the owner reaffirmed his faith, as is Islamic tradition: he said "La ilaha illallah wa Muhammad rasulullah!" and the horse stopped, at the very edge of the cliff.

The owner was full of amazement and relief. In gratitude for his deliverance, he sighed, "Al hamdu lillah."