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Sunday, May 29, 2005

What causes someone to Backbite his Muslim brothers and sisters?

Fatimah Khan,
WAMY [Dammam]

What causes someone to Backbite his Muslim brothers and sisters?

Satisfying Anger

This is done by backbiting the person who kindles his anger. Every time the person makes him angry, he subsides it by backbiting the person. Through this (the backbiting), he feels he is getting even with the other person.
The cure for this is the advice of the Messenger (pbuh) when a man came to him and said advise me, "(Laa Taqhdab) Do not become angry!

Wanting to Make or Keep Friends

In order to maintain friendship with others, a person indulges in backbiting. As he is afraid of losing their friendship, he does not reprimand them when they backbite, but indulges in it with them.
To cure this he must remember the saying of the Messenger (pbuh) "Whoever seeks the pleasure of men by displeasing Allah, Allah will abandon him to the people." [At-Tirmidhi]

Playing Around, Joking and Making Fun of Others

This could involve mockery and sarcasm. It is enough to remind those indulging in this practice of what Allah, the Most High said: "O you who believe! Let not a group scoff at another group, it may be that the latter is better than the former..." [Al-Hujuraat 49:11] It could very well be that Allah loves them and does not love us.

Anger for the Sake of Allah

A person may become angry because of a sin committed by another person, and so he talks about it mentioning that person's name instead of concealing it.
Sufyaan ibn al-Husayn narrates: I was sitting with Iyaas ibn Muaawiyah when a man walked by and I said ill of that man. Keep Quiet! Iyaas said to me. Have you fought the Romans? I said no. He asked, Have you fought the Turk? I said no. He then said, The Romans were saved from you and likewise the Turk were saved from you. But your own Muslim brother was not saved! Sufyaan said, After that I never backbited anyone.

Having Too Much Spare Time

This can cause a person to fall into backbiting, because it is easy for an idle mind to become busy with men, and their faults. To correct this, a person must spend his time in acts of obedience to Allah, worship, seeking knowledge, and teaching others etc.

Conceit and Lack Of Awareness Of One's Faults

People should think about their own faults and try to correct themselves and feel ashamed to criticize others when they have many faults themselves.
It was said to Rabee ibn Khaytham, We never see you finding fault in others. He replied, I am not satisfied with myself enough to dedicate my time to finding faults in others.
Uqbah ibn Aamir narrates: I said, O RasulAllah! What is salvation? He (pbuh) said, Hold your tongue! Your house should suffice you! And cry over your (own) faults! authentic, narrated by Tirmidhi.
Shaykh Al-Qarnee narrates in one of his lectures: Abu Bakr once disputed with another companion about a tree. During the dispute Abu Bakr said something that he rather would not have said. He did not curse, he did not attack someones honor, he did not poke a fault in anyone, all he said was something that may have hurt the companions feelings.
Immediately, Abu Bakr ordered him, Say it back to me! The companion said, I shall not say it back. Say it back to me, said Abu Bakr, Or I shall complain to the Messenger of Allah. The companion refused to say it back and went on his way.
Abu Bakr went to Rasul Allah and told what had happened and what he said. Rasul Allah called that companion and asked him, Did Abu Bakr say so and so to you? He said, Yes. He said, What did you reply. He said, I did not reply it back to him. Rasul Allah said, Good, do not reply it back to him (do not hurt Abu Bakr). Rather say, May Allah forgive you O Abu Bakr!
The Companion turned to Abu Bakr and said, May Allah forgive you O Abu Bakr! May Allah forgive you O Abu Bakr! Abu Bakr turned and cried as he walked away.
How can we revive this air of mercy and love and brotherhood that the companions lived?
The Messenger of Allah showed us in the following ways:
Having Eman in Allah and doing acts of goodness.
[96. On those who believe and work deeds of righteousness, will the Most Gracious bestow love.] Surah Maryam
Spreading Salam to those whom you know and those whom you do not
In Sahih Muslim, from Abu Hurayrah: RasulAllah said, You shall not enter Jannah until you believe, and you shall not believe until you love one another. Shall I not guide you to something that if you do it you shall love one another? Spread Salam amongst yourselves.
And in Bukhari and Muslim, from AbdAllah ibn Amr: a man came to Rasul Allah and asked him, Which Islam is the best? He said, To feed the hungry and to give salam to those you know and those you dont know.

Giving gifts to your brothers and sisters

Suffice is the statement of Rasul Allah, Tahaaddu Tahaabbu. (Give Gifts and you shall love one another). narrated by Imam Bukhari in his book al-Adab al-Mufrad. Saheeh lishawaahidih.
Telling your brother or sister that you love them for the sake of Allah
This is one of the ways to solidify the brotherhood/sisterhood when your brother or sister knows that you love them.
These days people are loved for the clothes they wear, so they buy more expensive clothes. Others are loved for the cars they drive, so they buy newer models. But how many are loved for the sake of Allah, and what kind of effect would that have?

Conclusion: If you cannot say good things about a person, keep quiet.

O Allah! Show Us & Guide Us All through the Straight Way.


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