Dieting Rules for Women

1. If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no
calories.
2. If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the calories in the
candy bar are canceled out by the diet soda.
3. When you eat with someone else, calories don't count if you don't
eat more than they do.
4. Food used for medicinal purposes NEVER counts, such as hot
chocolate, brandy, toast and Sara Lee Cheesecake.
5. If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner.
6. Movie-related foods (Milk Duds, buttered popcorn, Junior Mints, Red
Hots, Tootsie Rolls, etc.) do not have additional calories because they are
part of the entertainment package and not part of one's personal fuel.
7. Cookie pieces contain no calories -- the process of breaking causes
calorie leakage.
8. Things licked off knives and spoons have no calories if you are in
the process of preparing something. Examples are peanut butter on a knife
making a sandwich and ice cream on a spoon making a sundae.
9. Foods that have the same color have the same number of calories.
Examples are: spinach and pistachio ice cream; mushrooms and white
chocolate. NOTE: Chocolate is a universal color and may be substituted for
any other food color.
10. Anything consumed while standing over the kitchen sink, has no
calories.