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Sunday, January 04, 2009

Love just isn't enough

Love just isn't enough when the feelings shared come from only one partner.
Love requires the investment of feelings, of voice, of touch, of a smile
that evokes playfulness!

Love requires the understanding that togetherness outweighs aloneness! It is
the merging of two peoples lives, dreams, and interests that makes life
worth living.

Love whispers that when you need a shoulder, someone to listen to you, or
wipe away a tear...or cuddle up with that they will be there. Love means
that even in the worst of times, when you could easily fall to your knees,
and give up; it is your partner you rely upon to show you that you will make
it through the darkness. For many though, love isn't an option because they
believe there aren't any unselfish people left in this world to love.

They are tired of meeting people who shout... "Give me, give me, give me"!
They want to feel that they have a sense of worth, that what they say
matters. They want to believe the same "I love you's" they hear between
couples, those same toe curling kissing seen in the mall, that same hug that
holds two people so close is also meant for them. They don't live in a make
believe world of fantasy lovers and perfection. They know that no two people
will always see things eye to eye. There will be disagreements, mispoken
words said in anger. But they want to believe there is forgiveness and
love's renewal!

The million dollar question is how can the woman who gives from her heart
because she wants to...how can she meet such a man with similar
unselfishness? Why must one endure so many rotten apples from a bag before
finding such a sweet and delicious one? To find such a loving man or woman
requires the risk of taking a chance. For many....that is such a scary risk.
To open one's heart and letting others walk among old memories. Rejection is
a bitter taste, as bitter as suddenly realizing someone was just playing
with our feeling...our dreams.

Love is only worth the risk....when the one you have chosen to give your
love to....in return...gives their love back to you! Mutual love = mutual
respect = mutual kindness =mutual forgiveness. I wish I had a secret formula
that the lonely could use to get past the players and have the reassurance
they seek, to take that chance on someone they desire. But there is no short
cut, no miracle formula. In truth, love, like all other things sought after
is a hit and miss situation. Some will find love so easily, it makes us
jealous! Other's choose by neccessity to sit and wait, and wait and wait.
Other's still, have a tough, and determined attitude. They realize that love
will not just bump into them one day. They realize that risks or not, love
is worth taking a chance, and they step out into the "line of fire" with
both eyes open.

They are confident...but not blind to being let down. So they begin their
search for a compatible mate with small "Baby Steps"! Protective about
themselves and their heart, its a "one-day-at-a-time" strategy to test
someone new! In time they may choose to back away. In time they may choose
to grow closer. But the point is "They are in control of their
destiny.Aloneness is not where anyone wants to be. But due to life's
experiences and heartaches, aloneness must be one's path...a sanctuary, a
resting place while we heal and try to learn what went wrong.

I wish everyone strength, healing and confidence that there is someone out
in the world, who thinks just like you do..."That no one would want to love
them". Be kind to yourself, and realize that everyone is different and
unique. Men do not want only women of a certain age, weight or shape. each
of us admire qualities in a woman that attract us to "Them" more then
other's. A woman has the advantage to use her eyes and smile to make men say
hi to them! Use your eyes and smile.

Raymond.

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